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You are at the section Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Sabrina Episode Guide Season 2p1

Season Two Sep 1997 - May 1998


#25 and #26: "Sabrina Gets Her License"

Main Story for #25: This is a two-parter that was combined to form a full hour second season premiere. Sabrina reaches her 17th birthday and has gotten used of being a witch. She receives a witches handbook as a gift; it's a study guide in the shape of a hand. She has reached a milestone, and has to take a test to get her witches license. The Quizmaster will be coming in the next few days to test her. She has two chances to pass. In high school, she meets Valerie for the first time. Libby calls Sabrina "freak" as she passes by. They meet Mrs. Quick, the new teacher. Libby has asparations of being the new editor of the school newspaper. Sabrina has a lot of stuff to juggle like dealing with extra algebra, helping Harvey with his projects such as baking cookies, getting to know new shy friend Valerie, and possibly competeting with Libby for editor of the school newspaper with the added bonus of driving Libby insane. During that time, Sabrina neglects her studies for her witches exam. Sabrina falls asleep overextending herself doing an editorial for school, but still not studying her witches handbook. Harvey calls Sabrina, then she falls asleep while he was talking. The next day, the Quizmaster zaps himself into Sabrina's bedroom and demands that Sabrina study her witches handbook because a test will be given at any time when she least expects it. At high school, Vice Principal Kraft enters the cafeteria to make some announcements. Each football player will be honored by having a poster made for each of them by their girlfriends to decorate the dance. Kraft tells Sabrina that she has to make a poster of Harvey for the school dance that Friday. Sabrina casts a spell to materialize some cookies for Harvey, but The Quizmaster zaps them away. The Quizmaster asks her to reverse his spell, but she doesn't know how because she didn't study the witches handbook to find out how. After meeting Harvey who was expecting the cookies but didn't get them, he tells Sabrina to forget about the dance because she's too busy. In the second half, Sabrina is frustrated that she can't talk to Harvey. The Quizmaster zaps into the kitchen and demonstrates molecular transferrence, zapping himself from one spot to another twice, then zaps himself out of the house. Sabrina tries to do the same, but she shorted out her finger. Back in class, Mrs. Quick said that the panel of teachers thought Libby's editorial was interesting, but Sabrina's was more interesting and won editor of the school newspaper, then is handed a load of newspaper articles to edit. Sabrina and Harvey make up. Back at home, Sabrina finishes a poster of Harvey, then finally begins to study the witches handbook, but before she even reads a word, the Quizmaster zaps into her room, and says that it's time for her first test. She's not ready. Too bad. She is given a test, zaps herself into two trains to find the speed of the trains, diverts the trains, then one of them crashes into the house. She didn't think of the consequences of her magic before she acted, as when the trains are diverted, they have to go somewhere. She failed the first try. As a penalty, she gets sent to a military-style training camp for witches. The aunts offered to pick her up in two days, but Sabrina would miss her dance with Harvey that Friday.

Main Story for #26: In part two, we learn that Hilda was at training camp because she didn't study either, and tells Sabrina not to flee to Canada because that doesn't work. Sabrina lands in the recruting office to get a uniform and a number. The sargent shows up to greet the sorry new batch of pathetic witches who couldn't zap their way out of a paper bag. The sarge remembers Hilda when he sees the name Spellman on the list. He orders the witches to make some magic and they march out, all except Sabrina. She asks the sarge to get off to attend the school dance with Harvey, and the sarge zaps her hair into a flattop haircut. She begins to realize that she's got to take the test for the Witches License seriously. Her aunts are not allowed to warn her about the more serious penalty if she fails a second time. At night, the witches get deactivators on their boots so that they can't use their magic to escape from training camp, then it was lights out. Later, Sabrina wakes up and opens the chest, gets out her gown and Harvey poster, and leaves the camp. She tries to climb the wall, but the dog takes the Harvey poster and Sabrina escapes back into her home thorugh the linen closet upstairs. She goes to the high school bathroom, removes the magic deactivator, cleans herself up, gets her long hair and gown on, leaves the bathroom, and meets Harvey. Back in the bathroom, she tries to zap a new Harvey poster, zapping the paper successfully, but her finger short-circuits again, so she uses lipstick to draw a new one. Libby comments to Sabrina's poster that it's a serious cry for help. At the dance, Sabrina gets shocked when she sees the sarge's images in the disco ball, loses half of her gown, then runs out, leaving one of her boots behind. It's Cinderella gone amok. In the second half, we see Sabrina back at witches training camp, and back in uniform. Sabrina has to clean the entire quarter with a toothbrush and her magic finger as punishment for two days. The sarge then comes in and tells her that her time is up, and warns her if she fails the second question, she will spend the entire year with him in witches camp. The aunts come in, and the sarge sees Hilda, then screams out of the quarters. Back home, the aunts tell her that she can't study the witches magic handbook while doing all of the school activities at the same time. They make a list of all of the activities she's doing: study the magic handbook, school, hang with Valerie, editor of the school newspaper, taking algebra, Harvey stuff. Sabrina decides to resign as editor. The aunts also tell her to cut back on Harvey stuff. Think about it. She fell asleep while Harvey was talking on the phone, she made a lousy poster, she forgot about his cookies, and she left him at the school dance, and decides that she's a lousy girlfriend, and says that she can't even go to the game to see Harvey play on Friday. She wants to take time out from Harvey but doesn't want to hurt his feelings. She looks through the magic handbook for a no-pain spell. Downstairs, Sabrina opens up Zelda's lab top to create a no-pain pudding for Harvey. She blows up the formula, and pops in and out of Erik Estrada's convertible. Sabrina brings Harvey the no-pain pudding, who drinks it up. She tells him that they should see less of each other, the formula begins to work, and Harvey doesn't get hurt. He invites Jennifer to go to the game on Friday. At school, Sabrina resigns as editor by giving her load to Mrs. Quick, who then hands over the title of editor to Valerie. While missing the football game, Salem helps Sabrina study the magic handbook in her bedroom, then the Quizmaster walks in to give her a surprise second chance test. He takes her to the fun zone called greyspace for the test. He tells her to show him the real Sabrina. She creates some artwork on the wall and concludes is magic is fun again. He tells her that magic is a way of life and is a part of who she is, and it's a gift that comes with responsibility, and she showed her responsibility by studying then got to have fun. She passed with flying colors...literally. She gets an official learner's permit. You have to get a permit before you get a license, and will be tested on and off until she turns 18. She has to cut back on Harvey and other activites to study the magic handbook for a year. If she doesn't get her license, then she will become completely mortal. In the epilogue, Harvey shows up with the boot Sabrina left behind at the school dance. The Quizmaster says that he won't remember what happened. He puts it on her, then they dance at some school dance setting. Later, we'll learn that erasing Harvey's memory cells that remembers that she's a witch can work just so many times on a mortal in their lifetime.

Secondary Story: when Hilda and Zelda's 300-year-old bond matures, Zelda decides to switch from physics to chemistry and buy a top of the line "lab-top" chemical laboratory which naturally proves irresistible to Hilda, Salem and Sabrina.

Another Minor Plot: Salem makes off with some of the cash to buy new cat toys and a meal at a sushi bar.

Updated: January 10, 2007.

Original Air Date: September 26, 1997.

New Regulars: Martin Mull as Vice Principal Willard Kraft, Lindsay Sloane as Valerie Birkhead, Mary Gross as Mrs. Quick. and Alimi Ballard as Quizmaster Albert.

Cast for #25: MJH, BB, CR, NB, JLG, LS, MM, AB, BF

Cast for #26: MJH, BB, CR, NB, JLG, NR, LS, MM, AB, MG, BF

Guests for #25: Dan Desmond as Engineer B. Erik Estrada as Himself. Max K. as Sushi Chef #2. Richard Moll as Sgt. Slater. Mak Takano as Sushi Chef #1. Cee Cee Harshall as Cee Cee (taking over for Melissa Murray in a recurring role beginning that season).

Guests for #26: Shannon K. Dunn as Female Witch Officer (as Shannon K. Dunn). Erik Estrada as Himself. Heidi McNeal as Jennifer. Richard Moll as Sgt. Slater. Andrea Savage as Stacey Fink. Cee Cee Harshall as Cee Cee.


#27: "Dummy for Love"

Main Story: Libby becomes the new editor (for a week) of the high school newspaper, and one of her first acts was taking Sabrina's editorial about too much emphasis on school sports out of the newspaper because it offended the cheerleaders. Sabrina takes the school newspaper layout for the next edition out of the hands of a man who was going to give them to the printing press (she offers to take them instead), and changes the layout around, with a doctored photo of Libby eating pie, and adding her editorial on the front page. The next day, an angry Libby storms into the cafeteria, accusing Sabrina of making changes to the front page. The Vice Principal Kraft demands that Sabrina write a retraction to her editorial, but she thinks that it would be wrong to do that. She says that Harvey failed an important exam because his football participation was taking up his needed study time due to his coach refusing to let him study. Mr. Kraft enters Sabrina's home, telling Zelda that she wrote an editorial offensive to the high school sports clubs. Kraft goes into the kitchen to see Hilda cutting tree limbs with a chainsaw, and he is smitten with her. Back at high school, Sabrina conjures up Cupid and hires him to make Kirk attractive to Valerie. Libby tells Sabrina that she's not allowed to write editorials anymore, and has to transcribe the school lunch menus. Sabrina zaps Libby's locker and pies splat on her. Mr. Kraft sees this and threatens her with detention, but she says that it would upset her aunt Hilda very much, so Kraft backs off from doing that. Mr. Kraft calls the home, Sabrina disguises her voice as Hilda, then says to him that she accepts his invitation to have dinner on Saturday night. In the second half, Sabrina calls Cupid to make Hilda temporairly attractive to Mr. Kraft, but she is asked to sign a release form because she's a minor. She refuses, and Cupid leaves. Sabrina looks up a spell making a friend act like a dummy like Charlie McCarthy. While Salem distracts Zelda, Sabrina holds off Hilda from going to the gym until Mr. Kraft arrives. She spins Hilda around and casts a spell, making her act like a puppet, while Sabrina does the vocals. Sabrina tags along while Mr. Kraft and Hilda go to a restaraunt. Sabrina is asked by the waitress to order something, but whatever she says, Hilda says the same thing. Later, she asks Mr. Kraft through Hilda to stop being mean to Sabrina. Valerie spots Sabrina in the restaurant, then things get messy. Hilda repeating whatever Sabrina says is having unintended responses by Mr. Kraft, who comes closer and gives Hilda a kiss, then she gets out of the dummy spell, is shocked, then sprays mace on Mr. Kraft, then sees Sabrina in the next table, then they both scream. Back at home, Sabrina is dragged into the Witches Council for casting a spell on a guardian. She cast a spell on Hilda to save Harvey from Mr. Kraft. Sabrina is grounded (her body, except her head, is placed into the ground in her back yard) as punishment.

Secondary Story: Zelda is in deep trouble when Hilda forgets to mail her postponement letter for Witches' Council Duty.

Updated: January 10, 2007.

Original Air Date: October 3, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, MM, NR, LS, JLG

Guests: Ichiro Banno as Sumo Wrestler. Marty Belafsky as Student. Sandra Kinder as Waitress. Scott McClain as Man. Patrick Thomas O'Brien as Cupid (as Patrick T. O'Brien). David Sederholm as Randy. Michael Sneary as Kirk. Jeremy Wieand as Geek.


#28: "Dante's Inferno"

Main Story: Harvey tells Sabrina that his father tells told him he has to date other girls. Sabrina's aunts agree and tell her she has to meet new boys, but she is reluctant to stop dating Harvey. Her aunts come up with Dante from the other realm to set Sabrina up with. Sabrina and Dante go on a date at a location light years away. Dante asks Sabrina if she minds if he smokes. Sabrina tells her that she doesn't like cigarettes. Dante tells her that he means a ham. Dante gives her a star, then back at home, shows it to her aunts. At school, Valerie tells Sabrina that Harvey had a great time with his date. Sabrina tells Harvey about her date. She suggests double-dating with their dates, but his date is named Jean, which sounds like a pair of pants, and her date has never been in the mortal realm before. Davy Jones zaps into Sabrina's bedroom and sings a Monkees song "Daydream Believer." Dante shows up from the other realm through the upstairs linen closet and into the mortal realm for the first time. Sabrina tells Dante that he can't use his magic in the real world. Dante doesn't know how to walk down the stairs, and falls down. In the second half, they double date at the bowling alley. Sabrina and Harvey introduce their dates to each other. Dante speed-eats a whole pizza and zaps Sabrina some flashing bowling shoes, but he can't bowl, but points his finger to get the ball out of the gutter and to make a strike. Harvey bowls for a strike, but Dante zaps the ball into several pieces that slide down both gutters, straight out of The Flinstones! Dante beats Harvey at arm wrestling, with the help of three arms as Harvey tells him that he couldn't beat Harvey with three arms. Sabrina zaps a mortal spell on Dante that lasts for five minutes, making Dante stop using his magic. Dante turns Harvey into a bowling pin and plans to knock him down with the bowling ball, but Sabrina stops the ball before it hits Harvey as the pin. Sabrina tells Dante that the date is over, then he leaves. Jean wonders where Harvey went, and Sabrina tells her that he went home. Back at home, the aunts change Harvey back into a teenager.

Secondary Story: Hilda copes with a bizarre illness, punnitis, that puts a spin on everything she says and causes it to be taken literally. Examples: "A monkey on my back" results in Davy Jones (a Monkee) appearring behind Hilda. "Ice cream" results in an eye screaming (get it?). Telling Sabrina to play the field puts her on a field. "Cat got your tongue" had Salem groomng with Zelda's tongue. Zelda gives Hilda a punitis medicine but it doesn't work. Hilda turns Zelda into a dictator by saying another literal pun. "He's a real dear" turns Zelda's date into a deer. Dante being nothing but a big bonehead made Dante appear with a bone through his head.

Updated: January 10, 2007.

Original Air Date: October 10, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, NR, LS

Guests: Roger Eschbacher as Steve. Teri Garr as Witch Yenta. Davy Jones as Himself. Sarah Lancaster as Jean (the character was incorrectly identified in the closing credits as Aubrey). Jonathan Palmer as Jerry. Jason James Richter as Dante. Fritz Sperberg as Larry. John Valdetero as Ron.


#29: "A Doll's Story"

Main Story: Sabrina's bratty cousin Amanda pays the first of many unwelcome visits to Sabrina and her aunts' home; Amanda is a full witch while Sabrina is half-mortal. Sabrina accepts the offer from Marigold, Amanda's mother, to babysit her daughter for $100. Amanda arrives from the other realm, then the aunts go off to the other realm. Amanda wants to play with a glass object, but Sabrina drags it from her hand, then Amanda pulls it back, then the glass object falls and breaks into pieces. Then, Amanda turns Salem into a panther, then back into a cat again. I have a question: how come Amanda, circa age 11, has the powers of the witch, while cousin Sabrina, age 17, didn't get any witch powers until she turned 16? Was it because Sabrina's half-mortal? Anyway, back to the story. Amanda wants Sabrina to play with her but she doesn't. Valerie shows up at the house and offers Sabrina to go with her to a party, but Sabrina can't, and invites Valerie into the house. Harvey shows up saying that there's a party. Amanda wants to go to the party, but she can't because she's too young. She gets mad and demands to go to the party, then steam emits from both of her ears. Valerie and Harvey leave. Sabrina has to clean up and asks Amanda if she has a nice dolly to play. Amanda turns Sabrina into a doll, then brings the Sabrina doll upstairs. What a brat. Why couldn't her witch powers be deactivated until she matures? Nobody ever thought of that, then again, Amanda wouldn't be causing havoc with the others, which makes the episode fun, would she? In the second half, Amanda puts Sabrina in her own toy box with everybody else who has offended her. Amanda puts some doll clothes on Salem, who disapproves. Sabrina meets the people that was shrunk by Amanda. Sabrina has to figure out how to leave the toy box, so she uses her...rubber head?... and thinks. She calls out Amanda and asks to go to the bathroom. Amanda tells her that she's not Betsy Wetsy and closes the toy box lid. It's official: the "Hug Me" bear is in hell. The Quizmaster pops up to give Sabrina a surprise quiz to test her on her witch ingenuity. Her quiz is to get everybody out of the toy box by herself. Isn't learning fun? The Quizmaster exits. Sabrina the doll lies down, then goes blind. The pink lady sits her up. Sabrina has doll eyes, with her lids that go shut when she lays down, as well as having no knees to bend her legs. Sabrina asks the other toys to band together for a plan. They've built a Jack-In-The-Box inside to do something. Meanwhile, Amanda materializes a giant cotton swab, then looks for Salem who is hiding and doesn't want to play cat hospital with her. Amanda hears the toys cheering, so she opens the toybox, and notices the Jack-In-The-Box. She takes it out of the toy box, places it on the floor, makes it bigger, cranks the handle, then a normal size Sabrina pops up. Amanda tries to zap Sabrina back to doll size, but Sabrina intercepts and gets Amanda's two index fingers tied up with some trick toy. The Quizmaster pops in and tells Sabrina that she passed. The toy people are back to normal size, as Amanda is forced to make them return to full size, and are free to leave. The people return to wherever they were in the other realm through the linen closet. Sabrina tells Salem that maybe she shouldn't babysit anymore. The aunts return, and Sabrina tells them that Amanda's fine. Sabrina turned Amanda into a doll and put her to sleep in her toy box.

Secondary Story: Hilda and Zelda need a break from each other, so (naturally) they go to a spa together, where they become rivals for a hard-to-come-by facial appointment that is supposed to make a witch look centuries younger.

Note: Emily is Melissa's younger sister.

Updated: January 11, 2007.

Original Air Date: October 17, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, NR, LS, AB, EH

Guests: Ivan G. Anderson as Bobi. Donna D'Errico as Carol. Paul Dooley as Ralphie. Luck Hari as Stewardess. Tim Herzog as Orion. Michael Irpino as Bartender. Darlene Kardon as Madame Dermis. Paul Sand as Dr. Rafkin.


#30: "Sabrina, the Teenage Boy"

Main Story: Sabrina asks Valerie what boys think about when they're not around them. Sabrina and Valerie visit Harvey and the boys in the school auto shop garage to see how the car repair was going, but neither of the girls had an idea what car repairing was about. Sabrina suggests checking the alternator, but the boys nix the suggestion. So the girls leave. Salem tells Sabrina that when girls are not around, boys can relax and open up about the big stuff, but Salem wouldn't give her any more details. Hilda suggests to Sabrina that in order to know the mystery of men and how men think, she has to be accepted by men, and to do that, she could use the "turn yourself into a boy" spell. Hilda tells Sabrina that the last time Zelda tried that spell, but got lost for 50 years because she refused to ask for directions. Zelda tells Sabrina not to use the boy spell. Hilda cooks up a boy spell by mixing in some snakes, snails, puppy dog tails, and and ear of newt. Sabrina drinks up the boy spell and turns into a boy. Each boy brew lasts only two hours. How Sabrina, as a boy, gains a ESPN sense: sensing when Sportscenter is on, and suddenly knows what a chronograph is. Sabrina greets Salem in her bedroom, and he tells her to get a boy's name and to act like a dude. The next day, at school, Sabrina, after the spell wears out, drinks the boy spell in one of the classrooms, then passes Valerie and greets her by the locker. Sabrina tells her that her name is Jack. Jack then goes to the school auto shop garage to meet Harvey and his friends repairing cars. Jack tells them that he transferred to Westbridge. Harvey introduces Jack to his friends. Jack asks the boys if they checked the alternator, and the boys agree with his suggestion, then go under the hood. The boys ask Jack if he's checked out some high school football player the previous night. Jack says "he's so hot", almost blowing the cover or something else, but Harvey steps in and says "312 yards, four TDs, and no INTs." Jack says "yea, what did you think I meant, his butt?" The boys have a belching contest. Jack casts a spell and gives a loud belch. Harvey tells the boys that he might be doing something with Valerie that night, showing an interest in her, making Jack (Sabrina) a bit hurt when his interest was revealed that woundn't have been revealed if it was witnessed by Sabrina as a girl. In the second half, Sabrina as a girl again tells Salem that Harvey wants to date Valerie. She wonders what to do. Sabrina doing Jack's voice calls Valerie on the phone and asks her to go to the pizza place. She says yes. Sabrina is creeped out when she tells Salem that she has a date with a girl. Hey, if Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell feel comfortable with it, why get creeped out? Have some fun with a girl while you're a boy and stop being creeped out about it. Valerie calls Sabrina to give her the news about Jack asking her out. Sabrina drinks the boy spell again and tries on some dude fashions, one of them being a disco dancing dude. At the pizza place, Valerie tells Jack that she never gets asked out ever and other stuff, but Jack doesn't listen to well, just like the other boys. Sabrina thinks to herself that this isn't what a boy wants to hear. Harvey shows up and sees the two. Harvey talks to Jack, who tells Harvey that he's going out with Valerie. Harvey says it's ok and then he leaves. Valerie asks if they were going dutch because she only has five dollars. The next day, Valerie tells Sabrina that she hit it off with Jack and thinks that he likes her. Sabrina leaves. Harvey asks Valerie for a date to go to the pizza place. She says yes. Harvey leaves. Sabrina comes back. Valerie asks if Sabrina minds if she goes with Harvey to the pizza place. Sabrina says she doesn't mind as she and Harvey are seeing other people, then she tells Valerie she thought she was going out with Jack. Valerie says that she can juggle two guys. Back at home, Sabrina tells Harvey that she's not ready for her to see Harvey date other people. Salem suggests to her to go to the pizza place and mark her territory as a boy. Jack shows up at the door, but, of all people, Libby also shows up and tells Jack that he gets the privilege of escorting Libby into the pizza place. Totally awkward. If Libby only knew that Jack was Sabrina under the boy spell. Jack gives Libby a quarter and tells her to get herself something pretty. Jack goes to another table to eavesdrop on Valerie and Harvey at another table. Jack makes the salt shaker the transmitter and another salt shaker the receiver so Jack can listen in on the conversation. Jack hears Valerie saying that she guesses that they're back to never, and Harvey telling her that has something personal he wants to talk to her about. Then Jack leaves and enter the boys bathroom. Harvey shows up in the bathroom, seeing Jack crying a bit. Jack asks Harvey how the date went, and Harvey tells Jack it's not a date, and asks Jack to keep a secret. Harvey just wanted to talk to Valerie about Sabrina and says that they're still tight and that he misses her. Jack asks Harvey he should tell her, but Harvey doesn't want to make Sabrina feel pressured if he told her that he misses her and they both decided to slow things down. Harvey tells Jack a warning: "your mascara is running." Sabrina's boy spell is wearing off. Harvey doesn't have a problem with it, but tells Jack that the other boys would be all over her. Then Jack thanks Harvey in Sabrina's girl voice, then gotta go in a boy's voice. then runs out to the girl's bathroom. Jack runs to the mirror, and the left side of Jack turns back into Sabrina, so that Sabrina's a half giri-half boy creature. What a shocker for her. She begs the boy spell to wear off on the right side, then finally returns to normal. Sabrina comes out of the bathroom, and sees Libby, who tells her "Jack's been in the bathroom forever, you'd think he was a girl." Sabrina tells Libby that Jack split. Sabrina learned that the mystery of men is that there is no mystery, and if you wonder what they're thinking, it's what they're eating.

Secondary Story: Hilda also partakes in the gender-bending antics in an attempt to get rid of smitten Mr. Kraft by pretending to be a possessive macho biker named Sonny. She drinks to boy spell to transform into the biker. Hilda as the biker convinces him to leave the first time, but on the next night, Mr. Kraft barges into the house and demands to see Hilda and won't leave until he ses her, then they have a wrestling fight. Zelda breaks up the fight. Mr. Kraft leaves. The next day, Hilda finally lets Mr. Kraft in, but this time, Kraft is here to see Sonny to set things straight. Hilda takes the boy spell to become Sonny.

Updated: January 11, 2007.

Original Air Date: October 24, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, LS, NR, MM, JLG

Guests: Ryan Francis as Baines. David O'Donnell as Ramage.


#31: "A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It"

Main Story: While planning a Halloween party she was coaxed into hosting by Valerie, Sabrina frets that her aunts' talking furniture, which is infested with talking termites, will expose her witchy ways. Libby's bored guests crash Sabrina's party, so she conjures up 10,000 Maniacs to distract her schoolmates, who assume everything that happens is a "cool" Halloween special effect.

Updated: TBA

Original Air Date: October 31, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, LS, JLG, NR, AB

Guests: 10,000 Maniacs as themselves. Ellen Albertini Dow as Old Lady. Dennis Drew as Himself. Steven Gustafson as Himself. Daniel Hagen as Couch (voice) (as Dan Hagen). Richard Steven Horvitz as Smaller Chair (voice) (as Richard Horvitz). John Lombardo as Himself. Howard S. Miller as Termite. David O'Donnell as Ramage. Scott Tyler Russell as Asher. Beverly Sanders as Chair (voice).


#32: "Inna-Gadda-Sabrina"

Main Story: We're taking a 60's trip in the 90's a bit later, but for now, it's class time. Vice Principal Mr. Kraft takes over one of Sabrina's class and declares that there will be a quiz every day. Sabrina attends a career fair. Back at home, Sabrina was reading a history book about one of the generals being the subject, and Hilda comments that the general was a loser and that she once dated him. The Quizmaster comes in from the other realm and gives Sabrina an assignment: to brew up something for the new home supplement to her magic book. "Spells that not only work but have a lovely presentation", says the Quizmaster. She comes across the Time Ball spell. She holds the ball and her surroundings become whatever decade she's thinking of. It smells like sardines, so it must work, but a word of warning: you must not eat it. She's surrounded by 60's fashion and culture. Far out, groovy, and out of sight. The Quizmaster comes in with an afro and asks Sabria for a fro-pic. She goes to a clothing store of the 60s and buys some period piece jeans for Hilda. She thinks of the 90s and returns. The Time Ball spell works by putting the mortals under the spell and only the witches knew of the spell. At bedtime, Salem smells sardines in Sabrina's bedroom, grabs the time-ball, and eats it whole. Then, Salem goes near the linen closet and burps. He goes downstairs and turns on the TV. He somehow summons the 1960s without knowing it while changes channels on the TV. He comes across the Mod Squad marathon, an entire night of Peggy Lipton! In the morning, Sabrina wakes up surrounded by the 1960s designs, clothes, and other stuff from that decade. She wonders how she got back in the 60s and wonders where her time ball went. Bummer. In the second half, things are getting...heavy, man...when Sabrina complains that she's lost the time ball and gets her aunts to find it so the surroundings can return to the 90s. She's got to mellow out and get her emotions in control. Salem goes to his cat box and takes a nap. What a trip, all without smoking some weed. In high school, it's the 60s there as well. Everybody is dressed in cloths from the 60s. Valerie laughs at Sabrina when she suggests wearing jeans in school. Girls in pants in school? Sabrina comes up with some wild ideas. Harvey comes over and announces that he got a 63 VW bus that goes 38 miles per hour. Totally psychedelic episode so far. It will blow your mind. Sabrina goes to a pay phone, but it's a dial-up as there was no touch tone phones until the 70s. She calls her aunts who tell her that they didn't find the time ball yet. Harvey notices that Sabrina is uptight while she's reading a history book "The Waging of War". Harvey chants "We have to stop the war!" and gets other students to chant. The man, Mr. Kraft, shows up and says "Absolutely right on! Power to the people." He says that a quiz can only test on what you've been told, but not who you are. He takes the whole class out to discuss the dangers of America becoming a police state. He gets the guitar and sings a folk song "Coombayya" or however it's spelled. Salem dreams that he's in the Mod Squad. Salem goes to Mrs. Quick's class for a sit-in, where the class is protesting against the lack of vegeterian food in the cafeteria and against serving meat. The cafeteria worker comes into the class and announces with a bull horn that starting tomorrow, the cafeteria will serve vegetarian meatloaf, fish sticks, and meatless sloppy joes. Libby in her cheerleader uniform comes in and tells the class that they're all freaks. The class tells them that they're proud that they're freaks and proud of it. Freak power! At home, Hilda and Zelda are meditating with incense when Sabrina calls them, telling them that she enjoys the decade. In school, Sabrina hands Valerie an article on college week she wrote for her to publish, but guess what? She says she's a girl and just the secretary of the future homemakers of America club. She hands the Franklin and Lee College questionairre to a man at the career fair, who tells her to send it to the Sarah Lawrence booth and tells her that Franklin and Lee is a men's only college and understands that she wants to get her MRS, but can't let her in. Sabrina complains to Mrs. Quick that the college won't let her in, and she tells her that it's a man's world and they do it by oppressing the women and putting them into stereotypical roles. It's the 60s alright. Harvey shows Sabrina his new cartridge for his 8-track decade. She complains that colleges at the career fair won't talk to her because she's a girl. Harvey tells her that they don't need college and stick to their plan of loading up the bus and travel the country. Harvey also tells Sabrina that she doesn't need a career and has visions of having kids and eventually marrying her. Back at home, Sabrina comes home, then Salem runs downstairs singing "Wild Thing." Sabrina smells sardines on his breath and says that Salem ate the time ball. Salem won't cough it up. Zelda, looking like a groovy chick, wants to give him furball medicine, which Salem hates, then Salem runs out of the house through the cat door. In the epilogue, they return to the 90s somehow when Salem returned home, and is locked in his cat den until he coughs up the time ball.

Note:: as part of a sweeps stunt, Salem the cat made stops and 60s changes on the sitcoms that followed on the ABC schedule.

Trivia: Salem declares "I'm not fat. I'm big-boned!" to the aunts who tell him that he's getting fat. That's in reference to a "South Park" catch-phrase that Eric Cartman uses on the adult cartoon show that debut in August 1997.

Updated: January 13, 2007.

Original Air Date: November 7, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, NR, LS, JLG, MM, AB, MG

Guests: Melissa Baum as Hippie Clerk (as Azura Farren). Susan Feniger as Too Hot Tamale. Scott Gurney as College Recruiter. Mary Sue Milliken as Too Hot Tamale. Aaron Nelms as Student #1. Wendy Worthington as Mrs. Poupiepenz.


#33: "Witch Trash"

Main Story: Harvey and Valerie invite Sabrina to go to Big John's, which is going out of business. Sabrina has been hinting to her aunts that she needs a car, but they decline her request. The three try to leave, but the door locks itself. Hilda and Zelda are also locked in. The whole house is locked and nobody can open it. What's going on? Hilda can't remember if she mailed the mortgage payment in time. Sabrina must spend the time to keep the real reason for the house problem from Harvey and Valerie. The aunts go to the mortgage banker for help. Sabrina tries to cook eggs in the kitchen, but doesn't know how to cook, and causes a fire to the potholder. Harvey puts out the fire with the fire extinquisher. The mortgate banker tells her that the payments are up to date but can't reason why the house is sealed. Then, pork grinds rain on the aunts inside the mortgage banker's office. The banker tells them that it's a family problem. The horrible hillbilly cousins, Racine, Maw-Maw, and Boyd, are causing the house lockdown, and they're mad because the will of their great granny bequethed the magic book to the aunts instead of the cousins. The aunts think that the feud might be over in a year or two, but that's far too long. Sabrina summons the cousins and they're conjured through the upstairs linen closet at the home. Sabrina invited them over to talk about the dispute over their great granny's will. In the second half, the cousins take a tour around the house. The cousins demand the magic book in order to unseal the house from its locked state. Zelda tells Harvey and Valerie, who are trying to get out, to stay over. Sabrina tells them that her cousins are from hong king. The aunts tell the cousins not to do magic while Sabrina's mortal friends stay over. Zelda zaps Sabrina a pack of Astonish Mints in case she needs to divert Harvey and Valerie's attention. The gang are having dinner at the table. Things begin to get out of hand when Racine asks the two mortals what Harvey's mortal friend is talking to, and Maw-Maw complains that she's not sitting next to a mortal. Sabrina hands a Mint to her friends. The Mints work and get some astonishing thoughts to divert attention from the magic and moral subjects that the cousins are talking about. Sabrina tells the cousins that she can see both sides of the issue because she's half-mortal and Maw-Maw has a problem with that. Harvey and Valerie are distracted with astonishing thoughts in another room. The cousins keep bringing up the magic book. Sabrina begins to bring up her lack of a car to her cousins in order to try to get a discussion going, but the cousins get upset when Sabrina brings up education in their face and demand that Sabrina give them the magic book, but she's in the middle of studying for her witches license. The cousins decide to go home with the house still in lockdown mode, but when the aunts go to the kitchen and noticed that the cousins wrecked Zelda's lab top, Zelda declares war. It's a family feud! Yee-haw! Zelda blows up the cousins' TV set while Wheel of Fortune is starting. Racine turns the aunts into hillbillies. Hilda zaps a showering Boyd's water and makes him shower in oil. Sabrina opens up the linen closet door, and it's been turned into an outhouse and screams in shock. Sabrina turns Boyd's outhouse into a bathroom and screams in shock. Sabrina continues to distract Harvey and Valerie. The cousins turn the aunts, Sabrina, and Salem into potbellied beer guzzlers. Sabrina zaps the cousins garden, and an angry elf materializes and chases Racine. The cousins decide to mess with gravity and levitate Sabrina into the air. Zelda conjures up a tornado spell and sends it to the cousins. The Great Grandma materializes, who erases the anti gravity spell. The Great Grandma summons up the cousins. The two sides tell their sides of the dispute. The Great Grandma tells the cousins that the other side got the book while the cousins got all her money because she thought that this was fair. The cousins spent all of the money and wound up in the trailer trash home. The Great Grandma tells Racine to unseal the house. She does. Harvey and Valerie are free to leave, still under the astonishment spell.

Updated: January 13, 2007.

Original Air Date: November 14, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, LS, NR

Trivia: Alice Ghostley played Esmeralda in another witch series "Bewitched".

Guests: Alice Ghostley as Great Grandma. Tom Poston as Mortgage Banker. Loni Anderson as Cousin Racine Spellman. Edie McClurg as Maw-Maw. Gary Grubbs as Boyd. John Griffin as Freedom Fighter.


#34: "To Tell a Mortal"

Main Story: it's Friday the 13th, the day the black cats have the power to scare the living daylights out of people, and Salem is enjoying the thought. Hilda gets bat breath, literally. She has bats living in her mouth. It's also a day when Sabrina is allowed to tell to a mortal her secret is that she is a witch, but it's a secret that is hard for mortals to accept. Hilda recalls the day she told Sigmund Freud that she's a witch, and Freud ordered two men in coats to take her away in a straitjacket. You could say it was the world's first Freudian slip. Zelda recalls telling Gwendolyn that she's a witch, and she told everybody, who mobbed her and made her go down a well. Salem spooked a bread truck and made the street full of buns. At school, the Quizmaster shows up to give Sabrina a test, then they both disappear to Alaska for a test of her endurance. Meanwhile, Hilda drinks a potion to get rid of her bat breath, and then winds up with bass breath. Sabrina returns with the Quizmaster, passes the test, then she's off to class. After class, Sabrina tells Valerie that she's a witch, and shows her some magic, making a sweater appear. Valerie says "Get out...", then Sabrina imagines being in a straitjacket being taken away by men in white coats, then Valerie finishes "...of here. This is so cool!" While in the hall, the Quizmaster pops up to give Sabrina a ticket for each time she uses magic for a mortal. He leaves. Sabrina points magic and makes things happen while accumulating tickets. Back home, Hilda tries another potion and this time it works to end her bass breath. At school, Sabrina makes Valerie speak Spanish to her Spanish teacher, who gives her a second chance on an exam she failed. Valerie then gets so excited that she tells Harvey that Sabrina is a witch. She points and gives Harvey some new shows. Libby overhears Valerie and now she knows Sabrina is a witch. In the second half, Valerie and Harvey go back to Sabrina's house, where Sabrina escorts her friends to the other realm through the linen closet. Harvey tries on some virtual reality glasses and envisions surfing. Back at school, Libby tells the students and Sabrina's a witch and asks how that can help her. The aunts get a message from the other realm about Zelda finding a cure for bass breath. In the other realm, Sabrina and her friends have fun. Sabrina grants two last wishes to her friends after using up most of her allocations to grant wishes to mortals. Harvey got to meet baseball giant Mark Langston, and Valerie got to dance with comedian Drew Carey, star of the "Drew Carey Show." At the other realm, Harvey and Valerie get sucked down by a giant swirling vortex. Sabrina grabs some tickets from a headless clown, throws them down the vortex, then her friends fly out of it. Harvey and Valerie are wearing each other's clothes. Zelda demonstrates her potion to cure Hilda of her bad breath to a class. Back in the regular world, Sabrina leads her friends out the door, but when Sabrina opens the door, in walks Libby with a mob and a TV reporter to report to the world about Sabrina being a witch. Valerie tells the TV reporter that she has no idea what Libby's talking about. The TV reporter leaves, thinking that it's another prank. Libby and the mob leave. After midnight, the mortals' memories are wiped clean as they forget that Sabrina is a witch.

Updated: January 13, 2007.

Original Air Date: November 21, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, JLG, NR, LS, AB

Guests: Drew Carey and California Angels pitcher Mark Langston have cameos. Irene Olga López as Mrs. Martinez. Cindy Lu as Reporter. Timothy Oman as Sigmund Freud. Ben Siegler as Stanley. Natalie Strauss as Parent. Caroline Williams as Gwendolyn.


#35: "Oh What a Tangled Spell She Weaves"

Main Story: Sabrina runs out of incantations (using her finger to cast a spell), so she recites a poem to get her bedroom cleaned up after Salem messes it up. She gets her clothes cleaned with an extra charge for cat hair removal. Her aunts show Sabrina what one of her spells did when she said "make everything new" as their antique was made new by her spell. She made her spell too general. She also made Salem into a kitten. Sabrina undos her spell. Hilda cast a make everything round spell some 500 years ago, and you can thank her for Columbus Day. At school, Sabrina talks in rhyme to summon a football coach in the hall who tells him that he's starting the game on Friday. Sabrina and Valerie think about getting jobs. Harvey caught a cold after starting a game. Sabrina casts a spell to make the heater in the school work hotter. Sabrina and Valerie get jobs at a pizza place. They cook up some pizzas by spattering the ingredients all over the flattened dough. The job turns into a disaster when pizzas burn and they can't keep up with the orders. Sabrina casts a spell to make Valerie more efficient. The Quizmaster shows up in Sabrina's bedroom at night and orders her to clean it up, but once again, her spell was too general. She was only supposed to clean her room and not the whole house. She failed the test by using a sloppy spell. He tells her to clean up her spells, then disappearrs. The next day, Sabrina enters a hot hallway. She left the heat spell running all day and night. She tried to undo her spell, but her finger sports a flag saying "no can undo!" The Quizmaster took away her undoing privileges. The efficiency spell on Valerie convinced her newspaper edition to publish two newspapers a week. Harvey burns his hand on his locker door as his locker is directly under the heater vent. Sabrina tries a cool spell and the heat spews cool. She also makes Harvey worthy of the football hall of fame. All done and no undo? Well, Sabrina's heat and cold spells created a heat front and a cold front, which meets to form rain inside the school. It would be true if the heat was humid in the first place. How did humidity get into the mix? Who knows. In the second half, Sabrina gets her nametag to go to work, and her aunts tell her that she made the rug in the living room disappear. She asks her aunts to take away the "no can undo" spell that the Quizmaster cast on her, but her aunts tell her that they can't undo a no can undo spell, it's a triple negative, and it's magically ungrammatical. Sabrina leaves for work. Sabrina casts a spell to help them find their lost rug, and makes her aunts and Salem disappear and travel into Merlin's castle where they are held captive; the aunts magic is no good in his castle. Sabrina has failed to consider a spell's consequences and aftermaths of ruins materialize. At the pizza job, Valerie becomes the pizza store supervisor, then orders Sabrina to take a ten minute break. Sabrina takes a nap and dreams that she's Lucy from I Love Lucy doing a spoof on the famous chocolate factory episode. This time, it's pizzas Sabrina has to top as they go down a conveyor belt. The pizzas come more frequently, and Sabrina can't keep up with the volume. Valerie wakes up Sabrina from her nap, and fires her for taking a break too long by 55 seconds. Back at Merlin's castle, the aunts and Salem are put in a holding cell. Merlin plants dummy replicas of Hilda and Zelda, and Sabrina comes home and leaves without noticing that she's talking to dummies as she passes them in the couch. At school, the heater broke, and it's snowing inside the school. There's even a snowman in the hallway with a sign that says "Mr. Kraft". Valerie hasn't slept in days as she rushes to put out two newspapers a day. Harvey is over bulked up with the pullups. Mrs. Quick yells blizzard as a blizzard blows into the hallway. Sabrina tries another spell to make the blizzard stop, and Harvey is wedged into the doorway to slow down the blizzard. A panicking Sabrina summons the Quizmaster, and she tells him that she got every spell wrong and admits that she was wrong. The Quizmaster casts a spell to undo all of her spells. Salem and her aunts reutrn home. Sabrina had to learn that she was wrong, she has to be more careful with her magic, can learn something from her elders, and the barn door on his ski suit is open. Sabrina comes home and tells her aunts that she's cleaning her bedroom the old fashioned way.

Updated: January 13, 2007.

Original Air Date: December 5, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, NR, LS, AB, MG

Guests: Bob Goldthwait as Merlin. Beth Grant as Mrs. Popkowski. Bob Vila as Himself. Charles Walker as Coach.


#36: "Sabrina Claus"

Main Story: Sabrina's anticipation of Christmas gets out of hand: whenever she conjures anything up, it turns out to have been taken away from someone else. Her aunts send her to Dr. Bell, who diagnoses a bad case of "egotitis" by summoning Sabrina's inner child (obsessed with getting presents), and call upon Bob to educate her in the true meaning of Christmas. When Bob is injured in the course of his duties, a horrified Sabrina discovers that he is really Santa Claus - and that she must now take on his duties as a subordinate Claus. Needless to say, Sabrina rediscovers the true meaning of Christmas by distributing gifts that make everyone happy, even Libby.

Updated: TBA

Original Air Date: December 19, 1997

Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, NR, JLG

Guests: Sergei Brusilovsky as Russian Man (as Sergey Brusilovsky). Jane Carr as Dr. Bull. Kim Delgado as Mr. Glass. Cork Hubbert as Fritz. Johnny Mathis as Himself. Richard Taylor Olson as Roswell. John Ratzenberger as Bob. Steven Shenbaum as Ted.


#37: "Little Big Kraft"

Main Story: Hilda and Mr. Kraft are dating, and Hilda is bored by Kraft. The Westbridge High school PTA is sponsoring a ski trip to Vermont for the weekend. Mr. Kraft is the chaperone for the ski trip. At the school meeting, Mr. Kraft vetoes a popular student's suggestion of getting drinking fountains that work in the school, but passes Libby's suggestion to take the cheerleaders to go to a workshop in France. Sabrina objects to Mr. Kraft's veto power but that does no good. At home, Sabrina uses Zelda's lab top to make hair mousse, so Zelda bans everybody from using her lab top. Mr. Kraft makes a lot of rules restricting what the students can do on a ski trip, then Sabrina decides to take matters into her own hands. She disobey's Zelda's ban on the use of her lab top and creates a potion in the form of tablets to make Mr. Kraft think like a teenager. At school, Sabrina follows Mr. Kraft all over the school and tries to put the tablet into the iced tea that Mr. Kraft is drinking. Mr. Kraft takes her to his office and puts her in detention for a crime of smelling the vice principal. While his back is turned, Sabrina makes the detention paper disappear. Mr. Kraft turns around, notices that it's gone, and goes to the supply closet to get another one. Sabrina puts the tablet into Mr. Kraft's pitcher of iced tea. He returns, wondering what she is doing with his iced tea. Mr. Kraft drinks the ice tea, then begins to think like a teenager. He turns on the radio for rock music, and rips up the detention paper. He butts into the cafeteria and talks to Harvey. Mr. Kraft ruins Libby's paper that approves the cheerleaders trip to Europe by rolling it into a ball, tossing it to Harvey, and it gets tossed into some food. At home, Sabrina is shocked when she discovers that Mr. Kraft is on a date with Hilda. Hilda returns and is crazy about Mr. Kraft. The next day, it's off to the ski trip, supposedly, but he forgot to hire the bus to take them to the trip. Mr. Kraft turns into a particularly obnoxious, irresponsible adolescent. In the second half, at school, the lights go out as the electric bill goes unpaid. Mr. Kraft rides a bicycle through the hallway, acting more like a kid than a teenager, getting younger all the time. The school cafeteria runs out of food because Mr. Kraft forgot to sign a food order for tamale day. Mr. Kraft walks in acting like a boy, and tells Mrs. Quick to go fix lunch, but they have an argument. On the school intercom, Mr. Kraft tells the students that school is out for three weeks to make up for the missed ski trip. Sabrina takes a phone call from Salem, who asks her if she put caffiene in the potion for Mr. Kraft. She did, which is why Mr. Kraft is acting like a kid. You don't put an aging potion with caffiene because it causes the container to absorb the potion. Every time Mr. Kraft drinks from the container, he gets more of the potion. Salem tells Sabrina in a Maxwell Smart tone "and be careful, 99." Sabrina asks what? Salem tells her that she is so young. That line came from the 60s series "Get Smart", and 99 refers to Agent 99 played by Barbara Feldon in the old series. Sabrina goes into Mr. Kraft's office and picks up the pitcher of iced tea. Mr. Kraft comes out of hiding from under a rug and plays tag with her. At night, Sabrina looks through the magic book to find a spell. Sabrina goes to Zelda who is working with her lab top. She asks her how to hypothetically reverse a spell but gets nowhere except for the fact that Hilda is dating Mr. Kraft who thinks like a toddler. The date turns into a disaster. Mr. Kraft wants to go home. Hilda thinks that Sabrina is to blame for the mess. Hilda storms back home and confronts Sabrina and asks her what spell she put on Mr. Kraft. In the next scene, Zelda conjures up a potion to reverse the teenage spell on Mr. Kraft, who takes it by a spoonful in the living room. He returns back to normal. Mr. Kraft wonders that something odd is going on here and will visit this area again. Back at school, Sabrina gets detention based solely on personal resemblance. An angry Libby accuses Mr. Kraft of being just an educator, and he gives her some tickets for the cheerleaders. Sabrina casts a spell on the drinking fountain and it squirts Mr. Kraft.

Updated: January 13, 2007.

Original Air Date: January 9, 1998

Cast: MJH, CR, BB, NB, MM, NR, LS, JLG, MG, CA

Guests: Sandra Kinder as waitress.


Sabrina the Teenage Witch The Complete Series
*****


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Sabrina the Teenage Witch Season 2 (1997-98)
*****


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Plot Outline: A sixteen year old high school student finds out she's a witch.

Plot Synopsis: Sabrina Spellman, a perfectly normal 16-year-old, is informed by her aunts, Hilda and Zelda, that she (and they, and her whole family on her father's side) are witches. She lives with them in Massachusetts while preparing to receive her witch's license. Along the way, she gets into many scrapes while figuring out how certain spells work. She also has to keep the secret from her boyfriend, Harvey, friends Jenny and later Valerie, stuck-up nemesis Libby, and her ever-suspicious vice-principal, Mr. Kraft.

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