Main Story: Sabrina is dating Josh for the seventh night in a row in the hopes that he would say the "L" word to her. After the date, he finally says the "L" word, as in, "I love you," but Sabrina gets a frog in her throat and can't find her own voice to tell him that she loves him too. Sabrina tells Zelda that she sounded like Tweety Bird when she tried to tell Josh how she feels. Zelda told her that Sabrina got so nervous that her throat closed up. The next night, she and Josh go out to dinner. There, she tried to say it in her own voice, but it keeps coming out with different cartoon voices. Josh leaves in disgust. Sabrina tells her problem to Hilda at the coffee shop. Hilda tells Sabrina to go to the Other Realm to visit "The Love Doctor" a relationship guru. There, he instructs her that she must be honest and truthful with Josh about her true identity before she can say the "L" word. It's all up to Sabrina to look inside herself to see whether she really loves Josh or not. Roxie invites Sabrina to go to her relationship workshop for some help. She tells the lady named Rita at the workshop her problem with her voice when she tries to tell Josh she loves him, but she starts talking in cartoon voices. She leaves the workshop through the door where she turns into a cartoon version of herself. In the second half, Sabrina the cartoon arrives to her aunts house, where Zelda materializes an anvil above her, then falls, and Sabrina is back as a human being. Sabrina considers telling Josh that she's a witch in order to tell him that she loves him without sounding like a cartoon, but Zelda warns that if she does since Josh is a mortal, she'll be stripped of her powers and be cast out forever. Sabrina gets an idea that Josh could find out she's a witch without her telling Josh the way Harvey found out, but when Harvey found that out, he dumped Sabrina. Josh tells Harvey in the coffee shop that he knows why Harvey broke up with Sabrina because of the weird way she acts. Harvey asks if she tried to turn him into a puppy. Josh hates Sabrina treating him like a joke when it comes to love. At the newspaper office, Sabrina casts a spell to make everybody run to the ice cream van outside. Then she tries to tell Josh that she's a witch without saying so, but Josh doesn't want to talk to her even after she gives many hints about her witchcraft. When Josh had enough of the weird things popping up all over the office and begins to leave, Sabrina tells Josh that she loves him in a normal voice. The aunts explained that the reason her voice was normal when she said "I love you" was because she was willing to reveal herself completely to him. Being open about her witch side absolved her of her guilt about having to deceive a mortal.
Updated: March 31, 2007
Original Air Date: February 15, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, ED, SMF, TL, DL, NR
Guests: Larry Bates as Employee #1. Alexandra Boyd as The Rose Lady. Kasan Butcher as Bob. Alexis Fields as Rita. Usher Raymond as Doctor Love. Jessica Stier as Pam. Heather Young as Maria. Raquel Campbell as Nurse/Back-up Singer (uncredited). Donielle Carter as Nurse/Back-up Singer (uncredited). T.J. Lottie as Nurse/Back-up Singer #1 (uncredited).
Main Story: The ice cold great Aunt Irma pays another visit to the Spellman house to see her favorite niece. Not Zelda. Sabrina. Irma tells Sabrina that she found an eligible bachelor that's suitable for her for an arranged marriage. A witch named Peter from the Other Realm. The aunts tell Sabrina that they won't let Irma get Sabrina into an arranged marriage. Peter arrives at Sabrina's college place. They tell each other that they don't want to marry each other at the same time. Roxie walks into the conversation and meets Peter, getting starstruck in the process. Peter leaves and meets up with Roxie, then kisses her. Peter and Roxie walk into Hilda's coffee shop. Sabrina says if Irma finds out, she's going to be furious. Hilda says that this relationship must be destroyed. Zelda wants to pair Peter off with a cousin of her's and away from Roxie. Too late. Roxie tells Sabrina that she and Peter are an item. Roxie goes out on another date with Peter. Sabrina takes Josh to a restaurant to join Roxie and Peter in a plan to break them up. As Sabrina and Josh were talking, Roxie and Peter leave the table. Sabrina goes back to her college place and tells Roxie that Peter is all wrong for her, but Roxie tells her that she's engaged. When Roxie leaves the room, Irma pops into and tells Sabrina that Peter met a very special woman, unbeknownst to her that the woman is Roxie. Sabrina asks Irma what if Peter broke up with her and married a mortal. Irma, with steam coming out ofher ears, says that Peter would be banished by Irma and the woman he marries would be condemned top a life of misery. In the second half, Zelda informs Sabrina by a wedding invitation sent by Irma that Sabrina is marrying Peter on Saturday. Salem tells Sabrina that Peter is having a bachelor party at Hooters in the Other Realm. At Hooters, a dancing owl in a costume entertains. What did you think they meant? Andy Griggs entertained the bachelors by singing a song called "You Won't Ever Be Lonely." The boys bring in a cake and out pops Sabrina. The guys were disappointed when they were expecting an owl. What kind of bacherlor party is this anyway? I'm glad their idea of Hooters doesn't exist in the real world. The Other Realm is just too weird. Anyway, Sabrina asks Peter why he's having a bachelor party. Peter tells Sabrina that he's marrying Roxie, but Irma and Roxie don't know that. Sabrina tells Peter that Irma isn't going to go for Peter marrying Roxie. Sabrina gets back to her college place. Roxie has trouble calling Peter and keeps getting a weird recording on his cell phone. Roxie realizes she doesn't know where he lives. On the wedding day, Irma meets up with Hilda and Zelda. Irma still thinks that Peter is marrying Sabrina and not Roxie. Sabrina as the bridesmaid tells the aunts that she's got it all under control, whatever that means. When the bride comes out, the veil covers her entire face. Irma as the person that's authorized to marry two people, asks Peter to lift the veil, but Peter says that he should wait until after the ceremony. Irma insists and zaps up the veil, revealing Sabrina as the bride. Josh and Sabrina let Irma and everybody in the room know that they don't love each other. Josh tells Irma that he loves Roxie. Sabrina took Roxie's place so that Irma wouldn't make Roxie miserable. Irma asks Sabrina if she would sacrafice herself to save a friend. Sabrina says yes. Zelda and Hilda tell Irma how she could let Sabrina go through with marrying someone she doesn't love. Irma comes around and calls off the wedding. Peter escorts Sabrina back to her college place. Roxie complains to Peter that she doesn't know how to get in touch with him and doesn't know anything about him. Peter tells Roxie that he wants to open up. Roxie gives Peter back the engagement ring, then, they remeet each other again.
Trivia: Greg Vaughan was a regular on another witch TV series "Charmed" as Dan Gordon in the third season. He also played Lucky Spencer since 2006 in the soap "General Hospital." He guested once in another witch series "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."
Updated: March 31, 2007
Original Air Date: February 22, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, SMF, DL, TL, BE
Guests: Roshawn Franklin as Jim. Andy Griggs as an unnamed character. Lia Johnson as Gwen. Randall Rapstine as Maitre D'. Greg Vaughan as Peter.
Main Story: Aunt Zelda broke up with Professor Carlin again. So what does Zelda do? She cooks up a mean Henry VIII-sized banquet, that's what! Maybe she was really that upset over her break-up! Zelda says that getting rid of Arthur (Carlin) as the best thing she ever done, but leaves for the kitchen sobbing. Sabrina follows Zelda, who tells her that she's made a monumental mess of her love life, then tell her that she walked away from Gabriel the poet who asked her to run away with, but she turned him down and sent him on his way. Back at the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen, Sabrina shows Josh a picture he took of an elderly couple embracing under the caption "Reunited After Sixty Years." Josh tells Sabrina that she broke up with him in high school but he carried a torch for her for nearly sixty years until they found each other again, and continues that it's amazing how one decision can change your entire life. What if they had gotten together back then, he asks. Josh wonders if you could only change the past, but you can't. Sabrina then gets an idea and leaves, thinking that she can go back to change the past. In Sabrina and Roxie's bedrook, Sabrina types on her laptop, wondering if there is a way for her to go back in time to convince Zelda to say yes instead of no, then all of her problems would be solved. Just then, a bright neon sign magical appears directly over their heads and a disembodied voice comes from it. I had dreams like this every once in a while. A neon ad pops up in the blue sky with no visible means of support. Says the Disembodied Voice: "There is! Just log on to www.visitthepast.com and your time travel worries will be over!" Talk about direct marketing. She logs on and the neon sign dissolves as the disembodied voice gets a face on the computer screen. At the website, she could right past wrongs, witness the creation of the Universe, find lost keys, and other stuff. The spokesman at the website asks Sabrina for a visual record for an event so she could return to a specific moment in time to return to. Sabrina knows just the thing. Meanwhile at Hilda and Zelda's house, Hilda was at a table, picking up an old photo propped up against the salt shaker, when all of a sudden, it's beamed out of there faster than Scotty can start the transporter back at the Starship Enterprise. Sabrina shows the webman the picture of the moment she wants to go back to. After being told the disclaimer, Sabrina is sent through the wormhole, and travels back in time. Sabrina, in disguise, is witnessing Zelda and Gabriel sitting at a table in Paris, France. Gabriel proposes to Zelda, and just as Zelda was to tell Gabriel that she doesn't want to marry him, Sabrina butts in and convinces Zelda to marry Gabriel. Sabrina is happy, woo-hoo, and travels back through the wormhole and back into the current year. She's back in Roxie's bedroom. She feels hungry and decides to get something to eat, so she leaves her laptop and heads for the door, but as she is leaving, she doesn't notice that her laptop vanishes. Morgan and Roxie reenter the college house. Sabrina, by the refrigerator, asks them how old the cheese is. Morgan asks Sabrina who she is (as she and Roxie don't seem to recognize her). When Roxie tells Sabrina that she is a complete stranger, Sabrina tells them that she is their roommate. Morgan and Roxie don't believe her. Miles enters the college house, asking who the chick (Sabrina) is. Sabrina asks them none of them know who she is? They all shake their head no. Sabrina then runs toward Roxie's room to check out something on her computer. Her roomates run after her. Sabrina beats them to Roxie's room and locks herself in with the wave of her finger. Then Sabrina tries to log onto the website, then notices that her laptop computer is missing from the desk while the three are banging on the door. Then she notices that all of her stuff is also missing from the room. It seems that when Sabrina went back to change an event in time, it had somehow changed the current time Sabrina was living in, and for reasons to be explained later, everything that belonged to Sabrina is gone as though she had never lived there. Sabrina zaps herself out of Roxie's room just as the three blow open the locked door. Sabrina lands on the front porch of her aunts' house. Sabrina tells herself that she will enter the house, grab her magic book, and make sense of what's going on. She tries to unlock the front door with her key, but her key won't unlock the door. Zelda hears the key rattling the door, then opens up the door for her. At least Zelda recognizes Sabrina, and asks her what she is doing. Sabrina enters the house. In the living room, Sabrina tells Zelda that she planned to grab a few things from her old room, then notices that there's no piano. She asks Zelda where the piano is. Zelda asks Sabrina if she's alrigth, then tells her that they never had a piano and Sabrina doesn't have a room at her house. So this is the second house that Sabrina has never lived in, after the college house. Gabriel enters the living room, telling Sabrina that he's been married to Zelda for many years. Sabrina asks Zelda to refresh her memory and asks Zelda where she would find her aunt Hilda. Zelda tells Sabrina that she's getting scared about Sabrina's memory lapse (if that's what she thinks it is), and tells her that she lives with Hilda and Salem. Gabriel tells Sabrina that he hates Hilda, the smug-potty mouth, and isn't crazy about Salem either, then he leaves the room to host a salon with the other guests in Zelda's dining room. Sabrina tells Zelda that she'll go to her place. She heads toward the door, then stops, turns around, then asks Zelda what the address of her place is. Next scene: Hilda's living room. It's walls are blue and purple. The place is a mess. Sabrina mutters to herself that the key fits, so unfortunately, this must be her home. Hilda tells Sabrina that she and Salem are a ventriloquist act. There's a rumble in the apartment and Sabrina asks what's going on. Hilda tells her that there's a train passing by that causes the shaking of the apartment. Sabrina tells Hilda that she's supposed to be in college. Hilda tells her that she has bad grades and a poor income Hilda brings home. Sabrina tells Hilda that she went back in time to convince aunt Zelda to marry Gabriel and screwed up everything. Hilda wonders what she's talking about. Sabrina tells Hilda that in reality, Zelda didn't marry Gabriel, and Sabrina, Hilda, and Zelda live together, Hilda owns a successful business and dates a president of a University. Hilda accuses Sabrina of inflicing that life on her, then lurges over to choke her. Sabrina dodges Hilda. Sabrina tells Hilda that she's pretty sure that she can get it back, then asks Hilda where her computer is. Hilda tells Sabrina that it got sent out to get detailed along with her Rolls Royce. Then, Hilda and Salem leave for a booking to entertain as the ventriloquist act. Sabrina asks herself where she's going to find a computer, then she opens up a newspaper and gets an idea. Sabrina goes to the Boston Citizen and approaches Josh at his desk. Sabrina greets Josh. Josh recognizes her as he was getting worried about her. Sabrina. thinking that he knows her. throws her arms around Josh. A lady reporter sees the scene and asks Josh what's going on. Josh says that he has no idea and explains that the chicken delivery girl (Sabrina) freaked out. Sabrina is shocked to discover that she's working as a delivery girl. Josh asks Sabrina where their 12-piece combo is? Sabrina is still shocked to find out she's a chicken delivery girl. Josh adds "and a really bad one," then he and the reporter girl leave to grab some food.
In the second half, Sabrina sits at Josh's desk to do some websurfing on his computer. She enters the visit the past website. She tries to enter a password, and gets an error message: the website is out of business because of unforseen complications. Sabrina gets mad and shakes the computer monitor angrily. The spokesman shakes along with the screen shaking. Sabrina changing the past destroyed all of the spokesman's customers lives. Sabrina shuts down the web browser and wonders how to get her old life back or at least figure out who she is in that life. Harvey comes by with a large carrier bag. Sabrina greets him, but Harvey, not quite recognizing who she is, complains to Sabrina that her behaviour is totally unacceptable. Harvey agreed to hire Sabrina at the Chicken Shack on the condition that she and her probation officer promised Harvey that she would clean up her act. Sabrina asks Harvey that she's on probation and he's the manager at the Chicken Shack? Harvey tells her that he's the assistant manager, and tells her to put her paper hat with a chicken head on. Harvey hands Sabrina a carrier full of chicken deliveries for her to deliver, then Harvey leaves. Back at the college house, Miles, Morgan and Roxie are minding their own business, when there's a knock on the door. Roxie answers the door. It's Sabrina, the chick from Chicken Shack. Roxie tells Sabrina she has a death wish and asks why she's back. Sabrina puts a box of chicken on the table and tries to wedge her way into becoming friends, enrol at Adams, and move into the college house with the hope that they could bring them all a little closer together. The three roomates are not convinced and show Sabrina the door. At the Off Ramp Inn, Hilda and Salem were performing the ventriloquist act. Sabrina enters the Inn. One of the customers tells Hilda that she stinks, and the booing audience throws peanuts at the stage. Hilda leaves to take a break. Sabrina tells Hilda that she can't figure a way out of the altered life. Hilda suggests that she could only think of one person who could possibly fix things, but she and Hilda really don't speak. Who's that? Zelda! Hilda and Zelda haven't gotten along since Zelda and the poet Gabriel got married many years ago. Hilda says they'll have to tell Zelda what Sabrina did, but Sabrina tells Hilda that if they tell Zelda, then she'll find out that her perfect life is just the result of a magical contrivance. Sabrina wonders if she could get her hands on a magic book, and Hilda tells her that she's got tons of them. Hilda, Sabrina, and Salem leave and enter Zelda's back yard where the party is still going on. They see Zelda and Gabriel arguing about how to spend an evening. Zelda is sick and tired of waiting on him and his pathethic posse of parasitic poets. Zelda is complaining that she has to work three jobs to support her and Gabriel. Zelda tells Gabriel that she regrets marrying him for every single day of her life. Zelda notices the trio in the back yard and lets them into her house. They enter the kitchen. After Hilda insults Gabriel, he leaves the kitchen. Sabrina then tells Zelda she knows exactly how to get her out of her horrible marriage, and tells Sabrina that's kinda her fault to begin with. Zelda tells Sabrina she doesn't know what she's talking about and tells her that she and Gabriel have never been happier, then Zelda leaves to entertain the guests in the dining room. Hilda knows otherwise. Sabrina suggests that Zelda is in denial. Hilda tells Sabrina that Zelda keeps her magic books in the front hall. So while Hilda's ventriloquist act was distracting a room full of poets, Sabrina is thumbing through a magic book. She finds a time travel spell. Then, Gabriel pops up behind Sabrina, and tells her that time travel isn't something she should be playing around with. Sabrina glances over to Hilda and gestures that she needs to get rid of Gabriel. Hilda decides to do an impression of Gabriel's poetry, then the audience starts paying attention to her. Gabriel tells Sabrina that to excuse her while he goes to choke Hilda, then leaves. Sabrina turns back towards the book and casts a spell to take herself back in time to the same event in Paris, France, where Gabriel was going to propose to Zelda. Just as Zelda was going to tell Gabriel no, Sabrina interrupts, and pulls Zelda aside, and tells Zelda not to marry Gabriel because he's a user and an awful poet. Zelda tells Sabrina (not knowing who she is) that she was going to say no anyway. Sabrina tells Zelda to carry on, then leaves back to the future. Back into the Spellman living room. Hilda and Zelda are sitting in the living room when Sabrina is transported back into the room. Sabrina asks Zelda is she's now or have ever been married. Zelda says no. Sabrina hugs Zelda that she's so happy for her. Hilda guesses that the spell has gone awry. Sabrina tells Zelda that she made the right decision about Gabriel. ZSelda tells Sabrina that she's sure she did. When Sabrina asks about the regrets about not marrying him, Zelda tells Sabrina that every time a relationship ends, she thinks of Gabriel and then she remembers the bad poetry, the hangers on, and the fact that he always forgot his wallet. She thanks God that she didn't end up with that deadbeat. Hilda adds "Loser!".
In the epilogue, back at the college house, Sabrina enters the house and sees Morgan sitting in front of the TV set. Sabrina tells Morgan that she's home. Morgan demands to know what Sabrina is doing here. Huh? You mean something went wrong with the spell? You mean that Sabrina doesn't live at the college house? Sabrina explodes and tells Morgan, "Oh, for the love of...! Look, you're just going to have to believe me, okay! My name is Sabrina, I'm your roommate, we're friends, I go to college here, we work together at the coffee house, I don't deliver chicken, nor have I ever. Is that clear?!" Morgan tells Sabrina that she made her point perfectly clear, but Morgan still doesn't know what she is doing here, then tells her that Sabrina was supposed to meet Josh at the coffee house twenty minutes ago. Sabrina says "Oops. Ha-ha. Never mind. Gotta go," then leaves. Morgan tells herself that people think she's the ditzy one.
Updated: September 9, 2007 (it's about time I resumed!)
Original Air Date: March 15, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, ED, NB, NR, DL, TL, SMF
Guests: Jere Burns as Gabriel. Craig Frazier as Customer. Teren Greathouse as Beatnik #1. Simon Helberg as The Spokesman. Rebecca Lin as Reporter.
Main Story: Derek Axlerod. Sabrina's old anti-mortal old flame, pays a visit to Hilda's Coffee House when Sabrina was working on shift. After Derek shows her some of his paintings, Derek plants a kiss on Sabrina to her surprise after she tells Derek that she's been seeing Josh on and off again for the past eight months. Sabrina pulls back in shock. Back at the College House, Sabrina tells Roxie, Morgan, and Miles about the Derek story. Morgan tells Sabrina not to tell Josh what happened or else her relationship will be over. Roxie theorizes that if Sabrina keeps her mouth shut, and Josh finds out about it from some stranger, he never trusts her again. Back at the City Desk Office of the Boston Citizen, Sabrina enters and walks up to Josh at his desk. Sabrina wants Josh to hear her out, then tells him about Derek visiting the coffee shop and then kissing her, but she pushed her away. Josh tells Sabrina that he believes her, and says that she can't help it if Derek is still hot for her, then went off to finish organizing his phots. Well, that went well, Sabrina guesses, but why does Sabrina feel unsatisfied about it, thinking that Josh should have responded in a more emotional manner than he did. leaving her to wonder whether he cares about her that much at all. In the Spellman living room, Sabrina butts in just as Salem is about to read a new Francesca Flaum novel; she's the best selling author in the Other realm, the queen of passion and romance. Taking a chance that Francesca could give her some romantic advice, Sabrina transports herself into the Other realm and into Francesca Flaum's boudoir. Francesca wonders what Sabrina is doing in her office. After Sabrina asks Francesca for some help about Josh's lack of passion of a response when he was told that Derek kissed Sabrina, Francesca says thaat she can make him more jealous. She has everyone's love life on file. So, she goes over to a large book case full of paperback romance novels and picks up "The Life and Loves of Sabrina Spellman" by Flaum, opens up the novel, and does a rewrite on Josh. After Sabrina returns back to the real world, and into the Spellman house, Josh pays a visit. Josh is demanding to know where Derek is or he will tear this house apart closet by closet/ He pulls open a sideboard cupboard and wrenches out a drawer, then says drawer by drawer. Sabrina tells Josh that he is acting crazy and tells him to go home to get some rest. Every now and then, Francesca writes a stinky rewrite. Sabrina returns to the Other realm, but meets up with Fabrizio, Francesca's rather beefy writing tool. He tells Sabrina that Francesca is off on another Julia Roberts romantic crisis. Sabrina asks when she will be back. Fabrizio tells her that maybe two weeks, and then maybe never. Sabrina fears she could be stuck with Josh as a jealous lunatic forever.
In the second act, Sabrina tells Fabrizio that she's a newspaper journalist and could rewrite her own romance novel. With Fabrizio doing the typing, Sabrina recites the wordings to rewrite her novel to him and he types in "Steeling herself with an inner strength heretofore unknown, Sabrina assures Josh that Derek's kiss meant nothing, but Josh, still fearful that he might lose his beloved, eloquently expresses his heartfelt sensitivity to Sabrina." In the next scene, Sabrina returns to the Coffee House. She meets up with an oversensitive Josh who's driving Morgan out of her mind. Sabrina tells a pathetic Josh to get a grip and man up. Sabrina goes back to Francesca Flaum's boudoir. Fabrizio is startled by the sudden arrival of Sabrina. who tells him that they've got some writing to do. Back in the College House, Sabrina is greeted by Josh looking more like Indiana Jones with a bullwhip. He tells her that he's taking her away from Derek once and for all. Sabrina goes back to Francesa's boudour again, and then is greeted by a returning Francesca. Sabrina tells Francesca that she did a few rewrites after Francesca made Josh way too jealous, but they were complete disasters. Francesca tells Sabrina that she doesn't know how she wants Josh to react, so it's best if they start over and work from the original draft. After getting a sense of what the problem is, Francesca tells Sabrina that she failed to read between the lines to get the full story. After fully explaining that in the original write that the way Josh was reacting was perfect the way it was, Francesca tells Sabrina that true love is built on trust and mutual respect. Sabrina pager starts beeping. It was her newspaper paging her. Sabrina zaps herself back at the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen and meets up with Josh. With the help of the waiter Henri, Josh puts on a romantic dinner with Sabrina.
Secondary Story: Zelda and Hilda throw a garage sale.
Updated: September 12, 2007
Original Air Date: March 22, 2002
Cast: MJH, CR, BB, ED, NB, SMF, DL, TL, NR
Guests: Gene Arrington as Stan. Danny Breen as Jim. Kyle Colerider-Krugh as Joe. Bryan Kirkwood as Derek. Kathleen Noone as Francesca Flaum. Tony Ranaudo as Fabrizio. Dan Sachoff as Larry. David Sobel as Henri.
Main Story: A letter from the Sabrina's cousin Amanda's school comes in marked urgent. Sabrina opens the envelope and Amanda pops up, saying that she needs to study forher Witches License, and if she flunks, she'll lose her magic powers. Hilda and Zelda agrees to help Amanda, but Sabrina zaps herself out of the Spellman house after saying that she'll call it a day.
Sabrina zaps herself and her tennis racket into the Westbridge Sports Club where Sabrina faces Josh. After the game, Josh tells her that women can't play tennis as well as men when they walk to the college house front porch. Josh prefers to play with other men and admitted that he held back his tennis skill so that it would make Sabrina feel better about herself. Sabrina got angry about it. When Josh wants to go with her to get something to eat, Sabrina brushes him off, saying that she needs to eat with a girl to keep her skills sharp and Josh is just not up to her level. Inside the college house, Miles and Roxie discuss the important things in life while defining the roles of the male and female of the species. Roxie tells Sabrina that with practice, she can be as good as a tennis player as Josh is. After suffering during practice with a machine, Sabrina zaps herself Andy Roddick, a professional tennis player to teach her everything he knows about tennis so she could be as good as Josh...in one lesson! After a while, Andy tells Sabrina that she has a lot of potential but needs to work on being more competetive. Meanwhile, the aunts are trying to tutor Amanda, but she makes Zelda suck her thumb and Hilda invisible. Back at the Westbridge Tennis Club, Sabrina takes on Josh once again, but Josh beats Sabrina this time, five - one. Dave, Josh's friend, shows up, and offers to play Josh. Josh tells Dave to give him a minute while I polish Sabrina off. After they walk away, Sabrina plans to show him who's going to get polished alright. She zaps a point of bottled water into Competetive Ade. Sabrina takes a sip of it and feels a flush of energy glowing through her body. Sabrina then offers Josh for a rematch, and beats him with one match. She told Josh that she wanted to play at his level and got more competetive. At the college house, Sabrina enters while the cable guy is offering Miles and Roxie a cable package. Sabrina decides to be more competetive and forces the cable man to give them a better deal. Sabrina wins. At the City Desk of the Boston Citizen, Sabrina's competetive streak begins to streak out of control. Sabrina and Josh takes on Ben and Geri (Josh's parents) in a tennis match, and beats them. Then, Sabrina and Geri play the men after Sabrina proposes a battle of the sexes, and the women beat the men, but Sabrina goes overboard, taunting the men, calling them wimps and losers giving orders to Geri, At the coffee house, Sabrina offers to play bowing, but Ben refuses to play with Geri after seeing how ugly Geri's side was brought out during the tennis match, and thanks Sabrina for seeing the truth. Sabrina has split up Ben and Geri.
In the second act, Ben wants to bunk with son Josh to get away from Geri. Meanwhile, Amanda is bored at Hilda and Zelda's tutoring, who's getting nowhere when it comes to teaching Amanda. At the College House, Roxie and Miles complain that Sabrina's competetive demand for a better cable deal resulted in the cable guy ripping them off by giving them 500 channels...all Korean! Sabrina complains on the phone to the cable guy what he can do with his all Asian package, and her ugly attitude will see him in court. Salem notices that Sabrina's face is sporting hairy warts because of the potion she drank to make her more competetive and to act so ugly, she's looking ugly. So Sabrina zaps herself a bottle of Anti-Competitive Ade to reverse the potion. Her face returns to normal. In the TV listening room, Sabrina fixes the cable so that the language is English instead of Korean. At the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen, Sabrina comes to apologize to Josh for her ugly behavior. They make up and plan to get Josh's parents back together. Back at the Spellman house. Amanda was about to mail herself back to school, when the aunts stop her. The sliding doors to the dining room open up to see Salem scratching the records on the turntable while Hilda and Zelda give a rap about passing the witches license test. That helped Amanda learn some lessons. Back at the Westbridge Tennis Club, Josh'a parents battle each other in tennis. Sabrina and Josh walk in while they were argung while playing. Josh tells Sabrina that at least they're talking to each other and they're together; with them, that's as good as it gets.
Secondary Story: Hilda and Zelda reluctantly coach Sabrina's mischievous cousin Amanda for her witch's license test.
Updated: September 13, 2007
Original Air Date: April 5, 2002
Cast: MJH, CR, BB, ED, SMF, NB, TL, DL, NR, EH
Guests: Ryan Bumcrot as Dave. James Coffey as Brad Johnson. Michael Dempsey as Cable Guy. Kevin Moon as T.V. Announcer. Natalia Nogulich as Geri. Timothy Oman as Sigmund Freud. James Read as Ben, Josh's Father. Andy Roddick as Himself.
Main Story: Sabrina's here to help in this episode. She gives Harvey and Roxie some advice off the bat. Roxie dials a wrong number and begins to hit it off with the caller, who, on the other end, turns out to be Salem! At the Coffee House, Sabrina gives Hilda some advice on what to give Zelda on her birthday. Then, she advises Miles to contest his speeding ticket in court. Then, there's a big yell of "Mike" as Mike walks into the Coffee House. Some trivia. In the series "Cheers", George Wendt played "Norm" on the show, and whenever he entered Sam's Cheers bar, the patrons would yell out "Norm!" No response from the Sabrina laugh track in this episode. Was I the only one that found this obscure reference funny? Was I the only one to watch Sabrina and every episode of Cheers? Anyway, Mike gets advice from Sabrina to tell the corporate brass off for not giving him a raise/ At the Adams College hallway, Sabrina meets up with Miles, who tells her that he's out a C-note because the State trooper showed up to testify, and he also got pulled over, again, by the same Trooper. Some advice Sabrina gave him. He walks away. Later, Zelda showed Sabrina what Hilda made her for her birthday: broken pieces of patterned crockery. Zelda wonders where Hilda got such a numbskull idea of a ruined priceless tea set from. Zelda walks off. That's 0-2 for Sabrina. At the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen, Mike complains that his demands included a pay cut and taking away his health benefits Strike three for Sabrina. At the College house porch. Harvey tells Sabrina that Morgan broke up with him because of Sabrina's advice. In the college house, Harvey watches over Sabrina's shoulder as she works on her laptop. Sabrina visits The Other Realm Yellow Pages website and finds a listing for Martial arts lessons with Genghis Khan! Harvey reaches forward against Sabrina's advice (this time, her advice would have worked), and Genghis Kahn appears in the house to eat Harvey. As Harvey fights Genghis, Sabrina looks for a cure for busybodies on the Internet. She finds one. "Buddy's Busy Body Shop. All makes, all body parts, always busy." Sabrina and Genghis both vanish. She transported herself into Buddy's Busy Shop. She meets up with Buddy working on a project. Sabrina asks him to fix her out of control busybody. Buddy tells her that he just needs to tweak her gyro. What's a gyro anyway? It's the business end of your busybody part. Sabrina tells Buddy to get rid of the gyro, because every time she gets involved in someone's life, she causes nothing but trouble. Buddy put her up on the rack to do the job. At Hilda's Coffee House, Roxie enters talking on her cell phone, not knowing that she's talking to Salem, who disguises himself as Ali Hondro. After Roxie hangs up, Hilda overhears Roxie and wonders when she started seeing him. Roxie tells Hilda that she hasn't yet and tells her about Ali: he's confident and smart, lives with two female roommates, understands women, likes foreign music, and loves Indian food. Meanwhile, at Buddy's Body Shop, Buddy finishes removing Sabrina's gyro. Buddy holds out a crystalline gyroscope in the palm of his hand. It looks very delicate as it spins perfectly balanced. Buddy offers Sabrina her old part, but Sabrina tells him she's not keeping that. He puts it aside. Before Sabrina goes, Buddy tests her out first. Buddy tells Sabrina about his girlfriend and wants advice, but Sabrina butts in and tells him that he's none of her business. She never said that before, Back at the Spellman living room, Hilda catches Salem taking on the phone. He has some weird kind of foreign language yodelling music in the background. Hilda puts the clues she got from Roxie in her Coffee House and tells Salem that there will be no interspecies dating under her roof. Roxie hangs up on Roxie after telling her he'll call her later. Salem- What any normal person would do. Make a lifestyle adjustment. At Hilda's Coffee House, Hilda and Harvey have problems, but Sabrina tells them that their problems are none of their business. At the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Mike is on a tear and demands Mike's photos of the weird cloud the night before. Josh tells Mike that he gave them to Jerry, but Jerry tells Josh that he didn't. Josh asks Sabrina to confirm what he did as she was his witness, but Sabrina tells Josh that's none of her business, and walks away. Mike gives Josh one and one warning, and the next time he screws up and lies about it, he's fired. Sabrina is not here to help.
In the second act, Josh is wondering what's wrong with Sabrina, and she knows that he gavie those photos to Jerry, and wonders why she didn't stand up to Mike for him. Sabrina tells Josh that it's not in her nature to get involved and she's no longer a busybody. Why did Sabrina let Morgan seduce a married kick boxer after she dumped Harvey, and why is she letting Roxie date a cat? Sabrina might have completely lost it, and goes back to Buddy's Busy Body Shop to get her gyro back. When she comes in, Buddy was finished fixing Mr. McCoy's afraidiator. Sabrina tells Buddy that she needs to have her busybody part back in because removing it gave her a whole other set of problems. Buddy tells Sabrina that her gyro is on its way to the Other Realm Japan where it's a delicacy. Buddy offers Sabrina a new busybody part. It's a generic part. Sabrina zaps herself back and into The City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Time for Sabrina to do some repair work. She enters Mike's office and tells him that Josh really did give those pictures to Jerry, but didn't want to get involved. Then, Sabrina notices a mortgage check and comments that the amount he's paying is outrageous. Mike quickly snatches it back from her and tells her that it's none of her business. Sabrina tells Mike that everything's her business and tells Mike to refinance because of that mortgage payment. Then she tells Mike to stop waearing those stupid ties. Mike tells Sabirna that she really crossed the line and somebody's goning to pay. Sabrina tells Mike that it's Buddy and hopes that she's saved the receipt, then Sabrina zaps off, leaving Mike confused on what's she's talking about. In the Spellman kitchen, Salem begs Zelda to turn Salem into a man so he can date Roxie, but Zelda tells him no because the Witches Council has rules against that. Salem's been a rotten cat but still begs Zelda to turn him into a man, then breaks into tears. Zelda finally gives in and tells Salem that she will request a temporary transformation from the Witches Council so he can meet Roxie in human form. But Zelda warns her that unless she really is the one, the spell wont last. Salem gets excited about it and wonders what he's going to wear. Back at Buddy's Busy Body Shop. Sabrina walks in, and tells Buddy that her new busybody part isn't cutting it and she's worse now than the first time she came in. Buddy tells Sabrina that those off-the-shelf parts can cause a personality glitch if they're not calibrated just right. Sabrina tells Buddy that she's totally obnoxious and comments on his tatoo. Buddy tells her that it's a birthmark, and tells her that her body's rejecting the new part. Buddy tells Sabrina that he's going to take out the new part, run a complete diagnostic on her, find out exactly what makes her tick, draw up her specs, scratch build a custom original busybody part, identical to her old one, install it, and calibrate it, all in three minutes. A minute later. Sabrina sat wired to a machine that coughed up a printout. Buddy rips it off and reads it to her. The original part Buddy took out was pretty unusual. It came with a compassion upgrade. When she was trying to get involved in everybody's business, it was because she was, sincerely, trying to help. Sabrina was not really a busybody; she was just concerned about her friends. She had a rare piece of equipment, which means Buddy gave Other Realm Japan guy a super deal. Sabrina offers Buddy what she can do to help on making that other gizmo. Buddy fires up his acetylene torch and approaches her, then tells her to hold still. Hilda's Coffee House. Roxie is waiting for a date with Ali Handro (Salem). Salem walks into the Coffee House. We don't see Salem as a man. We see the next few scenes from his eye view. Salem meets up with Roxie, then is distracted when a long legged beauty walks behind her to the restroom, then gets back on course with Roxie. As the girl returns from the restroom, Salem is distracted again and refocuses on the girl. Salem comments Mee-oww! Roxie struggles to get Salem's attention again, then concludes that he's just another pig. Roxie turns away and leaves. Salem's man spell wears off and turns back into a cat. Outside of Hilda's Coffee House. Salem in a cat-sized suit runs up the stairs and meets up with Sabrina. Salem tells Sabrina that Zelda turned the cat in him into a man, but the pig in him turned the man back into a cat The long legged lady from inside the coffee house comes out and stops beside Sabrina, grinning. Sabrina thanks Veronique for helping out and tricking Salem into being distracted from Roxie. Veronique then zaps herself out of there. In four different places, Sabrina apologizes and tells everybody she's encountered that there's a very good reason why she gets involved in their lives and offer advice that they probably don't wanna hear. It's because she cares about them. Her advice doesn't always work out so well. But if they ever need her help, don't hesitate to ask. She can never turn down a friend in need. It's just not the way she's built. It's part of who she is and she just can't help it. Hilda tells Sabrina at home that it's in her genes, and that Hilda and Zelda do the same thing.
In the epiloge, Sabrina hears Morgan talking to a wrong number on the phone. Morgan wonders how the caller knew what her name was, and tells him that actually, it's Gaelic. Sabrina grabs that phone from Morgan, then tells him that she knows who he is, and before she finishes her sentence, she points at the phone, Sabrina's head pops up on the ear-piece of the phone on the other end of the line. Sabrina tells Salem that she knows where he lives. Salem jumps away.
Updated: September 15, 2007
Original Air Date: April 12, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, ED, SMF, DL, TL, GW, NR
Guests: Debbe Dunning as Veronique. Simon Harvey as Franklin. Richard Israel as Jerry. Anthony R. Jones as McCoy. Eamonn Roche as Buddy.
Main Story: At Adams College, Sabrina found out that Professor Beltran is the head of the nominating committee for Professor-of-the-year award, and plans to get her aunt Zelda, who is a teacher at the college, to get a nomination for the Professor of the Year award. Roxie hints to Sabrina that she could plant the idea of Zelda in his head. In Beltran's economics classroom, Sabrina freezes him, and plants some seeds into his head, then an image of Zelda appears in Beltran's mind's eyes.
In Hilda's Coffee House, Sabrina admits to Zelda that she planted the idea of being nominated for Professor of the Year award in Professor Beltran's head. Later, Zelda goes to the Adams college committee room and meets up with Beltran, who says that, while Sabrina disguised herself in a picture behind him, tells Zelda that she is fired. Beltran, thinking nothing about the fact the Zelda is 600 years old as a witch ages slowly, tells Zelda that when the committee reviewed her qualifications for Professor-of-the-year, her file stated that you had three advanced degrees from Harvard, but he called Harvard to verify and said the last Zelda Spellman who attended there graduated in eighteen seventy-three. So, thinking that it's unlikely that Zelda is one hundred and fifty years old, he is to deduce that she is either a liar or delusional. Back at Hilda's Coffee House, Zelda and Sabrina walk in when all of a sudden, they were surprised with a celebration party for Zelda, Professor of the Year. Zelda let them all down when she told the party that she not only did not get the award, she got fired. Zelda assures Sabrina that she has nothing to feel bad about, though she feels guilty about the whole thing. Sabrina tells Hilda that she's not going to rest until Zelda admits that she feels bad so Sabrina can start feeling good! Or something like that. Zelda takes up saxophone lessons after her firing, but does a really bad job on the sax. In the College house, Sabrina tries to help Zelda decide what to do with the rest of her life by zapping in Lenny B. Kenny G's on tour, Dr. Schwartz, world renowned brain surgeon, and Ernesto, Gas station owner. Zelda tells them all that she has no idea what she wants to do with her life. Zelda sends the three laborers back where they came from, and tells Sabrina she needs some time to think, so she herself a week at the Other Realm Spa, and tells Sabrina that she's on a serious guilt trip. A bus enters the living room. It's a mini-bus parked where her dinner for five had been. A big female bus driver tells them that she's here to pick up Sabrina and take her on her guilt trip. A large pile of suitcases and bags with big red labels reading GUILT appear beside the bus. Sabrina packs them up onto the bus, and they take off, leaving Zelda to wave goodbye. The bus flies through the clouds. The bus driver tells Sabrina and two other passengers that once they've worked through their guilt trips, she will let them off the bus.
In the second act, Sabrina awakes from a nap on the bus, then consoles Kerry the bride who left her groom at the altair. Sabrina tells Kerry that she did Roger a big favor by leaving him because Kerry didn't love Roger, then tells her that if she didn't love him, the she saved him from making the biggest mistake in his life. Kerry was convinced that she did the right thing, got happy, then shoots straight up and out through the roof of the bus. The bus driver tells Sabrina that she worked through her guilt trip so she sent her home. Another passenger, Chad, needs some advice from Sabrina, who tells him that he didn't mean to give his clients bad advice because he didn't know it was bad, then tells him that stocks are risky by nature. He did the best he could. Chad was convinced that he has nothing to feel guilty, then is ejected home by the bus driver. Sabrina is there to help. Sabrina then tries to talk herself out of the bus by stating that she wanted to get Zelda elected Professor of the Year but instead she got her fired. Nothing happens. She's gonna have to do better than that. She tries again with another sentence. Zelda said it doesn't bother her and not to blame herself, so she don't. Whoo-hoo, She's goin' home. Nope. Nothing happens. The bus driver tells Sabrina that what kind of a person would do such a thing to get her aunt fired? Sabrina answers that it would be a really really guilty person? The bus driver nods her head. Later, much much later, she tries yet again to convince the driver to release her with sweet reason. She demands to be let off the bus because her aunts aren't mad at her. Nothing. The bus driver asks her where Zelda is. She tells the bus driver that Zelda is at the Other Realm Spa figuring out her options, which she now has thanks to Sabrina. The bus driver decided to check for herself and will let Sabrina go if everything is the way she says it is. In the Other Realm Spa, Zelda and Salem were relaxing at the Spa, Sabrina and the bus driver, invisible to Zelda and Salem, zap themselves at the Spa to check on things. Zelda tells Salem that she has a wonderful life and has all these new doors opening. The bus driver smells a rat. Salem tells Zelda that he knows her enough to figure out that Zelda is miserable without that job! Zelda tells Salem that she is right and breaks down, tells Salem that her soul died a tragic death when she lost her teaching job, which was everything to her, then drowns her sorrows in the plunge pool. Sabrina tells the bus driver that she has to be let off this guilt trip so she can help her. She's been doing nothing except sitting around trying to figure out how to make herself feel better when really, what she should have been doing was helping Zelda. The bus driver ejects Sabrina from her guilt trip. Sabrina lands in Roxie's bedroom in the real world. Sabrina lands with a bounce on her bed just before Roxie enters. Roxie comments that she's got to love a girl who doesn't feel guilty about sleeping in all day. Sabrina quickly gets up off the bed. Roxie wonders why Sabrina smells like bus fumes and musk. Sabrina tells Roxie that she was trying out this new cologne. It's called "Guilty by association." Roxie tells Sabrina that while she was out, Roxie was busy trying to get Zelda's job back. She picks up a clipboard from her desk. It's a petition with 20 signatures from students trying to get her reinstated. Sabrina tells Roxie that that's what she should be doing and will go with Roxie to help, but Roxie tells Sabrina that they'll get more signatures when she takes a shower. At the Adams college committee room, Sabrina faces Beltran and the nomination committee for Professor of the Year. She hands Beltran a petition of over 200 signatures. Beltran says that they would love to give Zelda her job back, but the only way that they can reinstate Professor Spellman is if she were to complete all of the course work that is necessary for a doctoral degree and that would take seven years. Sabrina tells Beltran that he'll have everything he needs on his desk in two weeks. Beltran tells her that it's impossible. In the Spellman dining room, the dining table is piled high with books as Zelda speed works her way through them. After churning out about a thousand papers from the lessons in the textbooks, Zelda falls asleep just as Sabrina tells her that she's gonna run these papers over to the college. She then grabs the large pile of paper and lifts. Nothing happens, so she braces her foot against the table and lifts with them clutched to her chest. The weight makes her overbalance and she falls flat on the floor. At the Committee room, Professor Beltran congrautulates Spellman for the greatest academic tour de force he has ever encountered, or was it a tour de farce? Beltran comments that he was happy that Sabrina, her niece, was so persistent. Zelda tells him that she couldn't have done it without her.
Updated: September 19, 2007
Original Air Date: April 19, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, TL, SMF
Guests: Charles Chun as Chad. Conchata Ferrell as Bus Driver. Bert Hilkes as Man. Hiram Kasten as Dr. Schwartz. John O'Hurley as Professor Beltran. Lindsay Parker as Margie. Jenna Stewart as Woman. Gina St. John as Kerry. Barry Vigon as Ernesto Jimenez. Brandy Norwood as Mystery Caller (uncredited).
Main Story: In the College House, Morgan tells the folks that the models in the living room are for her fashion class and the final exam is going to be a fashion show featuring the student's creations. In Hilda's Coffee House, Sabrina tells Hilda that she has a strange feeling that somebody is following her. At Adams Collage, an edgy and nervous Sabrina spots a billow of cloak as it disappears around a corner. Later, Sabrina goes into a science classroom to trap her stalker. She hides behind one of the benches. The stalker enters. Sabrina jumps out waving a large glass beaker above her head. The stalker is her mother, Diana. Sabrina and Diana hug, talk, then Diana turns into a ball of wax. The Witches Council said that if they ever came face to face, Diana would turn into a ball of wax with her face on it. In the Spellman living room. Sabrina brings her mother Diana to the house and talk with Hilda and Zelda. The witches get the idea of going to the Witches Council to try to get Diana back to her human self. They all arrive at the Witches Council. Sabrina tells them that she feels that her mother, who was turned into a ball of wax by the old Witches Council, has been unfairly punished. Although the old Witches Council thought Diana had committed a crime of carrying a witches' child, she feels this whole wax thing is just... unjust! She, therefore, respectfully requests that they turn Diana back into... her mom. The Witches Council don't respond in kind. The Council said they can't undo the old decree, and their options stink.
In the second act, the party returns to the Spellman living room. Hilda and Zelda vow to help reverse this travesty of justice on Diana, then they leave. Diana tells Sabrina to show her everything that goes on in her world. Sabrina meets up with Harvey, who is introduced to Diana, a ball of wax. As Harvey leaves, he mutters that he got out of that family just in time. Sabrina and her mom the ball of wax go places. They finally go to the the City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Josh enters and wonders what Sabrina is doing here? With er a ball of wax? Sabrina explains that she come by to wax the table. In the College house, Morgan abuses the models so much that they walk out on her. Sabrina tells Morgan that if she plans to succeed in any profession, she's going to have to learn to treat people with respect, but first, Morgan needs people. Meantime, Sabrina left Diana, the ball of wax, on a table right next to a hot iron. The female folks leave the college house, trying to get the models to come back, but they forgot about Diana. When they return, Sabrina is horrified to see Diana as a flat melted pancake of wax on the table. Morgan runs upstairs in panic. Sabrina talks to the ball of wax and wondering if she's still there. It's her idiotdaughter who stuck her next to a steam iron! Jeez, what has she done? They were just getting to know each other too. Now she's lost her forever! She peels the pile of molten wax up and lays it back down on the table, tears welling in her eyes. She tells Diana she's so sorry. When a single tear falls off of her face and hits the mound of wax, the wax swells up and bursts apart, leaving Diana as a human again. They hug each other. Hilda and Zelda zap into the college house and tell Sabrina that they found a spell that would work if she melts the wax and melts it with her tears, then they see Diana, then tell Sabrina that she's figured it out, but there's one more thing...DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER! Hilda and Zelda turn Sabrina and Diana around quick so they're no facing each other. Zelda tells Sabrina that if Diana turns into another ball of wax, nothing will ever bring her back, ever. Zelda tells Sabrina that if she could, she would trade all her magic so she and Diana could be together. Hilda tells them with the turn over rate at the Witches Council, pretty soon, they can appeal to a whole new group of idiots. In Hilda's Coffee House, Sabrina gets an idea how replace the models that left Morgan. At the College Hall, Sabrina points her finger to help Morgan pass her final exam at the fashion show featuring her creations with the models Morgan, Roxie, Sabrina, Miles, Josh, and Harvey. Sabrina tels her aunts that she wishes that her mother could have been here to see her. Diana had been watching all along.
Updated: September 22, 2007
Original Air Date: April 26, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, ED, SMF, DL, TL, AM, NR, GW
Guests: John Coulter as Male Model #3. T.J. Hoban as Male Model #2. Annie Little as Ingrid. James Marsh as Chief Council Member. Christopher Michael as Bailiff. Masi Oka as Male Council Member. Natalia Sokolova as Female Model #3. Dante Spencer as Eric. Hayley Taylor as Female Council Member. Amanda Tosch as Female Model #2.
Main Story: Sabrina gives Miles a drivers manual to help encourage him to learn how to drive a car, but Miles is paralyzed by the fear of driving he acquired when he suffered a traumatic accident...an accident he had with a toy when he was five! Sabrina asks him what a red flashing light means! Miles tells her that his ambulance is here. On Taxi, the Reverend Jim, while he was taking a test asked, asked Tony what a yellow light means. Tony answered "Slow Down". Jim says OK, then asks the same question more slowly and slowly each time Tony answers the question again. Whoops. I'm straying. Where was I? On Taxi, Latka repairs a car driven by...wait. What show is this? Sabrina. OK. Maybe one day, I'll do detailed Taxi recaps. Anyway, later, Miles arrives home with the news that he passed the written test and got his official learners permit. Later, Sabrina returns after Roxie was giving him driving lessons (scarring Miles in the process) to give him driving lessons. On the road, Miles crashes into a pile of trash cans with Sabrina's car. No damage done to the car. Miles is a nervous wreck. Sabrina waves her finger to put a spell on Miles to give him mroe confidence on the road. In the background while he was driving, the theme from The Sopranos was playing. Miles was waving at a passing girl on the sidewalk, and doesn't pay attention to the road ahead, then he rear-ends a parked car. Mary Jo is the car that was hit. Sabrina and Mary Jo exchange insurance information. Sabrina goes back to her car and sees Miles hyperventilating after the accident. Back at the college house, Sabrina answers the door to a man with tulips, who serves her with an envelope, then walks away. She opens the envelope. She's being served with a summons. Miles takes the half opened envelope out of her fingers and reads the letter. "Notice to the defendant, Sabrina Spellman. You are being sued by plaintive, Mary Jo Ponder... For causing her extensive bodily injury." Sabrina and Miles tell Roxie that when they left Mary Jo she said everything was fine. Sabrina is being sued for two million dollars! She needs to get on the Millionaire game show hosted by Regis Philbin to solve that problem and win the big prize twice.
In the second act, in the college house, Sabrina tells Salem that she's ruined Mary Jo's life; she crippled a woman. Salem tells Sabrina that this is the oldest trick in the book. Mary Jo is a scam artist, a con, a sponger who makes her living preying on the naivety of others, then asks Sabrina if she is single. Sabrina tells Salem that Mary Jo has a doctors diagnosis confirming she has multiple injuries, then Salem tells her that he has a degree from Harvard confirming I'm a marine biologist! Salem suggests that if they popped over to Mary Jo's unannounced, they would find her doing the hokey-pokey. When they get to Mary Jo's bedroom, Mary Jo is in bed with a brace on her neck. Salem tests Mary Jo by jumping from Sabrina's bag and onto Mary Jo's bed. He claws her a bit, but she doesn't move and groans in pain. Sabrina swoops in quickly and lifts Salem off. Mary Jo plans to add that to her lawsuit. Sabrina and Salem leave. They get inside Mary Jo's garage to check out her Cadillac. The rear was badly damaged. It wasn't as badly damaged as the time when Miles rear-ended it the day before, Salem comments that the Cadilliac looks like it was hit by a Sherman tank. She zaps the car to try to get it to talk by pointing to the hood and zapping it with her finger, but there's no result. Sabrina gets inside the car and suggests that she can getsome advice from some Other Realm car talk experts. Radio from another realm. She zaps the radio on and the Click and Clack show is on 89.9 from the Other Realm. Sabrina calls into the show for some advice on how to get. a car to talk. They tell her to tap on the hood three times then say this. Cars are great because ya don't have to walk, but they're even better when they talk. Sabrina zaps them off after hearing enough jokes and gets out of the car. She walks round the front and taps three times on the hood. Sabrina says to the car, "Cars are great because you don't have to walk, but they're even better when they talk." She zaps the car and the Cadillac begins to talk. She asks the car what the deal was with the rear-end wreck. After the accident, all it had was a scratch, and now the whole rear ends a mess. The Cadilliac tells Sabrina that she gets it into an accident every week. She's doing this on purpose to collect the insurance money. Sabrina got the proof, but here's the problem. Who in the real world is going to believe a talking car, or the talking cat. Sabrina searches for a way to prove Mary Jo is a fraud. Roxie answers the phone. "Hello?... Can I tell Sabrina who's calling?... Sedan who?... Sedan Deville? Very funny, and I'm I. P. Freely." Ah, she's a Bart Simpson fan. Sabrina grabs the phone to talk. The Cadillac is calling Sabrina? It tells her that it just dropped Mary Jo off at Silverman's Gym on Dickens. The Cadillac suggests that Sabrina could catch her in the act of not being injured. At Silverman's Gym on Dickens, Sabrina enteres and meets Ivan for some help for looking for Mary Jo. Mary Jo is standing on crutches with then neck brace. Sabrina goes to the girls locker room, then she zaps herself to appear more bulky with a black wig. She has a thick neck and bulging muscles. She returns to the weights room, and introduces herself to Ivan as Olga Spellmanovich, the world class weightlifter in a bad Russian accent. Sabrina as Olga lifts heavy weights to impress the guys. Mary Jo, still in braces, suggests that she could lift twice as much. Sabrina as Olga insults her. Mary Jo throws her crutches aside and tears off the neck brace, goes to the weight bar, and lifts the weight over her head. Everyone applauds as she lowers it again. Sabrina whips off her black wig and grins. Mary Jo is shocked that she was tricked into being witnessed by a room full of people watching her lift 500 pounds, and her injury was exposed as a fake. Back at the college house, Sabrina tells Miles that Mary Jo's been charged with fraud and he longer has to feel guilty about ruining a woman's life. Or, as my friend Olga would say, (In a bad Russian accent) that veight can now be lifted off you shoulders. She clean and jerks her broom for emphasis. Miles asks Sabrina to give him some driving lessons. After the driving lesson, Miles tells her that he loves driving, gives the keys back to her, then heads for the house. Sabrina zaps her car into life with her finger and asks it how he did. Her car tells Sabrina that Miles drives mike a maniac, the tires are still shaking, the shocks are in shock, and asks Sabirna to promise that she'll never let him drive it again. Sabrina asks what's in it for her? The car answers "working brakes." Deal.
Secondary Story: Morgan convinces Hilda and Zelda they need an assistant and she's perfect for the job.
Updated: September 22, 2007
Original Air Date: May 3, 2002
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, ED, SMF, DL, TL
Guests: Lori Alan as Voice of Sabrina's Car. Greg Cromer as Delivery Guy. Lucas Ford as Ivan. Howard Hoffman as Voice of Mary Jo's Car. Joanie Laurer as Mary Jo Ponder. Ray Magliozzi as Clack. Tom Magliozzi as Click. Tonia Villalobos as Olga. Andrea Mikolajczak as Radio caller (uncredited).
Main Story: in Hilda's Coffee House, a mad Hilda ignores the men as they wait in line to be served. She pays attention to the women in line. Sabrina asks Morgan what's up with Hilda? Morgan tells her that President Banning broke up with her. Now she says she's through with men. Sabrina walks up to Hilda and tells her that there's a better way to deal with your feelings...shopping in The Other Realm. Sabrina, Hilda, and Zelda zap themselves into Potions, Lotions and Notions in The Other Realm. They shop...for six hours! Sabrina and Zelda return to the Spellman living room. Three hours later, Hilda arrives back at the same home. Hilda opens a box with her fiance inside it. It's Will the conductor from the Halloween mystery train, and Hilda's just signed up for the ride of her life. From what Hilda understands, it's non-stop. Hilda tells Zelda and Sabrina that her wedding to Will is this weekend. Sabrina and Zelda ask Hilda to slow down and get to know Will more, but Hilda insists that she's searched for her true love for over 600 years, and she's going for it. Zelda tells Sabrina, after Hilda leaves, that Zelda could have sworn that Will fancied her. Sabrina gets an idea to distract aunt Hilda and for Zelda to throw herself at Will. Later, Hilda and Will are in the living room. Sabrina asks Hilda to come into the kitchen to see Hilda's wedding rings better. While Will was alone, Zelda in red comes walking down the stairs to seduce Will. She tricks Will into kissing him. When Will was on top of Zelda on the couch, Sabrina and Hilda walk into the living room and catching Zelda and Will in the kissing act. Will breaks loose from Zelda to stand up. An upset Hilda doesn't believe Will explaining that Zelda threw herself at him and not the other way around. Hilda pulls off her mood ring and stuffs it into Will's hand, then zaps Will back into the outlet mall where he came from. Sabrina tells Hilda that she guesses that this just goes to prove he wasn't her true love after all. Hilda is so upset that she hardly knew the guy and won't see him again, folds her arms, starts to cry, then as soon as her tears touch her cheeks, she turns into a solid stone statue, then shatters into hundreds of small pieces all over the living room floor. OhmyGod! They killed Aunt Hilda! You bas...whoops, that's South Park. Nevermind. I'm straying again. Zelda tells Sabrina that the only time a witch falls to pieces is when she's separated from her soul mate. They were wrong; they really were in love. Hilda is broken up, thanks to Sabrina. Whoops.
Main Story: Hilda hears wedding bells when she comes home from a shopping spree and announces that she's engaged. She wants to get married immediately, but Zelda and Sabrina doubt that it's true love, so they hatch a plot to break up the new couple. Unfortunately their plan falls through as Hilda falls to pieces---literally. Now the conspirators try to put things back together, but Sabrina learns there's a price for meddling in her aunt's love life when the spell-caster is forced to gamble with her own love life jeopradizing her relationship with Josh.
In the second act, Sabrina and Zelda put Hilda back together poorly like Lucy took a chimney apart and put it back together if you catch my obscure reference. None of the pieces look like they're in the right place. Zelda tells Sabrina that they need a professional to fix Hilda. Zelda zaps in Rodin to help them out. He puts her back together, except for her appendix. Rodin tells them that she doesn't need it. Sabrina asks Rodin how does he bring her back to life? Bones McCoy tells her that he's a Doctor, not Scotty. Whoops. I mean, Rodin tells Sabrina that he's an artist, not a genetic engineer. Rodin hands Sabrina a card suggesting a specialist. Rodin waves his hand and vanishes. The card reads "Ed's life and storage warehouse. We revive your loved ones at factory rep prices." Zelda tells Sabrina that she's head that this Ed guy is an unlicensed and unethical quack. Then, Zelda suggests that she could find a way to bring Hilda back to life at her lab-top. After two days, Zelda was unsuccessful to find a way to bring Hilda back to life. Sabrina suggests that Zelda is losing her mind, then walks into the living room, stand up near Hilda the statue, points her finger, and zaps them into Ed's Life and Storage. The storage is full of cobwebs. Ed walks in and meets Sabrina, who shows him her aunt Hilda the statue. Sabrina tells Ed that she was hoping he could bring her back to life. Ed tells her that it's going to cost her. Sabrina suggests credit cards, but Ed says that her money is no good there. He says that a witch must pay with a personal sacrifice. In exchange for reviving Hilda, Sabrina must be willing to give up her true love. She has to give up Josh? Ed tells her not necessarily, but she has to be willing to take that gamble, and asks if she is willing to risk her own love life to save Hilda. Sabrina is the one that did this to Hilda, so she's gotta make the sacrifice. Sabrina tells Ed that it's a deal. She holds out her hand to shake Ed's hand, then Ed takes her hand into both of his. His hands glow as something bright and vital is taken from Sabrina. He passes it into the statue of Hilda. The statue glows brightly, the shell of the statue cracks apart, revealing a breathing and living Hilda. Sabrina tells Hilda that Ed brought her back to life. Hilda asks Sabrina why was she dead. Sabrina explains that when she didn't believe Hilda was truly in love with Will, she came up with a plan to drive him away, but he really is her true love, so Hilda froze and shattered into pieces for which she's really-really-really sorry. Hilda tells Sabrina that she's not half as sorry as she is for zapping Will away, and now has to go find her true love...again! Meanwhile, in the college house, the card game has been going on for nights. Salem has been helping Harvey cheat at the card game, leaving Josh and the other folks wiped out for the past eleven times in a row. Sabrina enters the college house where a twelfth card game was being played. Roxie tells Sabrina that Harvey is about to wipe them out for the twelfth time in a row. Harvey is the worst poker player in all the planet, and yet the person with the most chips. Sabrina gets the idea that Harvey has been using Salem to help him win, then she secretly points to Salem with some magic, then walks into the kitchen. Harvey's luck began to change for the worse. Salem keeps sneezing and sneezing. Harvey doesn't know whether to be in or fold. He goes in. Josh's straight flush, jacks high, beats Harvey's pair of tens! Josh rakes in his winnings. Harvey looks up a Sabrina with her suggestion that she made Salem sneeze uncontrollably and Harvey ran into a ... spell ... of bad luck. Sabrina asks Josh to go to the front porch for a talk. They sit together on the porch swing. Sabrina tells Josh that she wanted him to know that if anything should ever happen and they can't be together, she'll always love Josh. Josh acts a bit worried, wondering why she's talking like this, ten tells her that he never wants to lose her. Meanwhile in the Spellman kitchen, Zelda's overworking on finding a way to bring Hilda back to life, by then, she already is, but Zelda doesn't yet know it. She turns into a mad professor with her hair sticking up all over as she works on crazy spell ideas, everything except bring Frankenstein's monster to life. Hilda walks in with Will and asks Zelda what is she doing. She sees Hilda and hugs her. Hilda tells Zelda that she and will are getting married here this Saturday so clean this mess all up. Zelda apologies to Will for what she did. In the Spellman back garden on a Saturday, it's wedding day for Hilda and Will. Sabrina walks upstairs to Hilda's bedroom and sees Hilda, Zelda, and Salem sobbing. Hilda tells them that she's going to miss them all so much. Sabrina tells Hilda that she'll never forget when they skied on Mars, or when they rode the roller coaster on the rings of Saturn, or when she rescued her from the volcano, or when she took her in a raised her like she was your own daughter. Back at the Spellman back garden, Hilda and Will said their vows and were pronounced husband and wife by the minister. Hilda throws the bouquet and Zelda catches it. Sabrina broke her heel, then hobbles into the kitchen and sees the wedding cake on the table, then notices Luke the delivery man, and is smitten as she looks up at him. The two just stand and gaze at each other until Sabrina suggests to Luke that she broke her heel. Luke offers to fix it. While Sabrina is sitting on a chair as Luke was holding her foot, Harvey walks in. Harvey tells Sabrina that he's still in love with her, but he knows it will never be returned, so he's moving to California. Sabrina is shocked. What? Josh enters the room. Josh tells Sabrina that he doesn't know what just came over him, but he can't ever see her ever again. He's taking that newspaper job in Prague. Sabrina is shocked louder. What?!? Luke stands up from fixing Sabrina's heel, then he tells Sabrina that it was nice meeting her, and guesses he'll never see her again. Sabrina is shocked even louder. WHAT?!?!? Luke, Josh, and Harvey tells Sabrina, altogther, "Goodbye Sabrina." Luke leaves through the back door, Josh takes the scenic dining room route, and Harvey goes for the front door. Sabrina is shocked that the man she just met has already left. Her current boyfriend quit and is moving to another city. Her past boyfriend who dumped her two years ago after he found out she was a witch is moving to the left coast. Sabrina asks "Goodbye?" as they all leave, then she turns into a statue made of stone, then shatters into pieces. One of them was her true love. Which one?
Updated: September 23, 2007
Original Air Date: May 10, 2002
Note: this is the final episode with Caroline Rhea and Beth Broderick as regulars as they exit on their own after six seasons. This is also the final show with Trevor Lissauer as a regular.
Cast: MJH, BB, CR, NB, ED, SMF, DL, TL, NR
Guests: John Durbin as Ed. Sean Cw Johnson as Luke the Delivery Man. Reggie Jordan as Customer #1. Paul Keith as Minister. Douglas Sills as Will. Clement von Franckenstein as Rodin.
Plot Outline: A sixteen year old high school student finds out she's a witch.
Plot Synopsis: Sabrina Spellman, a perfectly normal 16-year-old, is informed by her aunts, Hilda and Zelda, that she (and they, and her whole family on her father's side) are witches. She lives with them in Massachusetts while preparing to receive her witch's license. Along the way, she gets into many scrapes while figuring out how certain spells work. She also has to keep the secret from her boyfriend, Harvey, friends Jenny and later Valerie, stuck-up nemesis Libby, and her ever-suspicious vice-principal, Mr. Kraft.